Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
If you know me, then you know what my greatest movie of all time is.The poetry, the actors, the humor, everything about this movie I LOVE..so you can guess who was
And in the spirit of awards, *brings all her sister-friends, friends of friends and cousins of cousins on stage*, starts *Chris Brown crying* I would like to thank God,
Over the past month since my last blog post, I lost some-one very dear to me. I've been referring to her as my childhood friend, but last night as I remembered our memories I realised she wasn't from my childhood but she grew up with me! Its been a week and 3 days since she passed. The pain. It hurts.
Ok I won't get you sad. Let me share...This past Friday evening, I'm at home, hear a noise, it sounds like rain or at least water dripping. Weird. It's coming from outside...I go to check...its vomit..I kid you not its raining vomit! My idiot, nasty neighbour from upstairs is vomitting out through his window and all his vomit is going on my plants! WTF?? I'm repulsed, sickened and dead furious, so I rush upstairs *with a jug of water in my hands* oh yes I fully intended to chuck it in his face as soon as he opened the door..start pounding on his door shouting 'Stop *bleep* vomitting on my plants you *bleep*bleep* Use your *bleep* toilet' . Idiot doesn't open his door!!I'm furious!I write him a note. My friends see the 'humour' in all this (especially my jug carrying). Next day, who do I see in the corner shop trying to duck and dive from me?Nasty Neighbour! I rush towards him, he's turning red, I'm wishing for that jug of water, the shop keeper looks scared. As I get to him I ask him 'What the *bleep*? Don't you have a *bleep* toilet?Who vomits outside the window?And on my plants?And why didn't he open the door?' First he went into a 'I don't speak English veli welle' mode until I said 'I'm going to call your landlord and tell him about this foolishness'. Next thing the dude can not only speak it but he does veli welle! He's apologising, offers me new plants, to clean my windows, but I'm not having it! If I hadn't cornered him in this shop, he wouldn't even have acknowledged this foolishness, so yes I called the landlord and also sent him an angry letter!
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
This post is just random thoughts going on in my head...
* Lil Kim/Nicki Minaj – ok first off I didn’t have Barbies as a kid, well ok I had a one but it was one neglected Barbie(my mother tells me its still intact) as I grew up with four brothers I didn’t have the ‘joys’ of playing with Barbies, instead I was riding bikes,climbing trees, playing with action heros and all that other stuff. Anyway, shouldn’t the props of the original Barbie go to Mattel?They created that damn doll but then again one can forgive them(Kim and Nicki) because they do have enough plastic to get confused on who’s the OG Barbie!! So I don’t get why these two women are dissing and beefing with each other and honestly I don’t care. Just make good music and shut up!
* Lewinsky Minaj, Aoki Lee, Ming Lee
* Drake – I’m on the fence about this guy, and now that I’ve succumbed to peer pressure
*My sister-friends – yes I fell in love with this saying ‘sister-friend’ when I heard Maya Angelou use it. Its got so much meaning when you have close friends who are just like your sisters. So yep, I’m now calling all my cherished and dearest friends my sister-friends. I'm also still going to continue raving how I'm surrounded by positive women making it happen in their own way, with such people around, you know you've got a strong support base!Some I'm yet to meet in person but still feel I have a friend in them!Guess its just the modern-day pen-pal right?Except that you actually talk on the phone/email/tweet/bbm each other!!
*Maya Angelou – I heart that woman, her voice, her work, just how she is...heart her!If you're not aware of her work, the title of my post is a title of a poem of hers..I love it!!
*Summer – for moi summer is synonymous with braais (bbqs to you non-Southern African folks) meat,meat and loads more well-seasoned, marinated meats. And also summer gives me an opportunity to hang with the sister-friends! Ohh summer is the season for weddings and summer romance too*apparently*!
*Reality shows – I’m a US reality tv junkie, watching Tiny&Toya(I like Tiny and errr Toya when did she start ‘rapping’?), Basketball Wives(wrong name for this show as there’s just two members of the cast who are actually wives!), Brandy& Ray-j’s Family Business (why did Brandy keep calling Flo Rida Flo?use his government name ie Tramar Dillard..
*Yourlovepunch.com, An Open Letter to my ex’s – Forgive me if I’m late in coming across the site and FB group. Anonymous letters are written to exes, thing about the anonymity is you get it off your chest but they never know right?Apparently its a 'healing process'.Ah well..
* Slim Thug - when I was reading what he said, I had to scratch my head, headover to YouTube and remind myself who he was, then I was hella annoyed at myself for even trying to remember this knee-grow!KMT!
*IamShonaTV - So the day I decided to start filming footage for the videos I went all guns blazing to different shoe stores with my video-camera
*Twitter - Gotta love how Justin Beiber was a trending topic for ages, I have nothing against the lil man..go Justin. Anyway, I wonder if some folks realize that you are what you tweet and therefore folks should really think before they 'tweet'. I now have my view of certain folks the bi-polar, the ignorant, the plain #whatrockhaveyoubeenunder and then the funny,informative,interesting etc.And to all my twitter folks you know its hard not to put the hash tag right?I did put it in a work email, thankfully realised it before I clicked send..lol!!#twitteraddict
*World Cup 2010 – Its soccer fever all over!In the office sweepstakes I picked Slovakia and Algeria (a friend told me that I had no chance ever..as if I didn’t know), anyway I’m supporting all the African teams, Brazil, Germany and France – if you ask me I have valid reasons for why I’m supporting all these teams.
*Clogs - Fugly, fugly, fugly!!!One trend like harem pants that I will so not be following. And oh whats with folks who follow every darn trend?? The above definition of a fugly pair of shoes is Ralph Lauren and goes for $4,500 yep four and a half grand for that eye-sore!!To Ralph Lauren folks I say 'You Teefs'!! Whoever I'd see paying for that I'd have them sent to the gallows!!#nojoke
Zimchic - email moi : email@example.com
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
I am who I am
Not because of the colour of my skin
Not because of the accent in my voice
Not because of where I’m from
The poverty you say defines me
The corruption you say influences me
The wars you say I’m out to fight
The fraud you say I’ve mastered
The chip you say I carry on my shoulder
No I am who I am
Not because of how much I have in my wallet
Not because of the tribe I belong to
I am who I am
Not because of the languages that roll on my tongue
I am who I am
Not because of the scars not visible to the eye
Not because of the graciousness of my walk
Not because of my gender
Not because of my alumni
Not because of my political affiliation
Not because of personal affliction
I am who I am
Because of the essence of me
Because of my worth, my voice,
My education might mould
Who I might become
But what makes me unique is
the soul of me!
The soul of an African
*Vent Alert!* '
How Africans are investing in their countries?How educated we are?Or maybe as Africans we should do a programme on how some London Boroughs are still using mass graves to this day till an African baby was dug out and eaten by a fox?
Saturday, 9 January 2010
The above Chimamanda video never ceases to inspire me when I'm suffering from writer's block and lawd knows I've been suffering from it such that this cold winter's Saturday evening I had to reference to it..and voila I'm tapping away on my keyboard!
I have a story to tell that's the reason for the re-vamp, not that I'm disowning my first blog..never because without it, I wouldnt be such a confident blogger or writer,
On how single stories lead to stereo-types here are some 'light-hearted ones'
a) Big guys = big tings…(u know what I'm talking about!!)
Unfortunately for some Big guys = chipolatas!! My friend says some might have suffered ‘shrinkage’ after going to the gym and all..lol!
b) Sexy person = Sexy Voice
Gosh, have you ever seen some-one and given them an accent or a voice, deep, sensual, smooth and then from the moment they say ‘Hello’ that’s it??Its like wrong voice dude, wrong voice?
c) Sexy voice = Sexy Person
Some radio dee-jays have disappointed many a listener!!
d) Black Women = Angry Woman
Nope I'm not angry, I don't have any daddy issues, I don't think all black men are dogs and yes I AM a black woman!
e) Short guys = compensatory behaviour, short-man syndrome, egotistical
Anyway I do look forward to sharing stories with you all!
Monday, 26 October 2009
I saw the birth of my dreams, I saw my foundation, I also saw the future for my yet unborn child,I saw a people as a whole with warmth, the beauty Mother nature gave us, (Victoria Falls, the Namib desert, the wildlife, the jaccarandas) I saw education values, I saw resourcefulness, I saw resources (diamonds, gold, oil, farming, coal,copper, educated people)I saw how I might be from the South I will relate to some-one from the East or West side of Africa! I saw history - the pyramids, Gora Island, Robben Island, Great Zimbabwe. I saw the cities. I saw the pride that we live with inside our hearts, I heard our many languages, I heard our great rythms. Yes, I also saw the dark-side, I saw the civil war in Darfur, I saw the Aids pandemic, I saw poverty, I saw the pain we go through in the diaspora to be who we are, I saw the struggle of past and present, I saw the stereo-types they give us, I saw the silent tears we've shed just because of where we are from, I saw it all BUT I also saw HOPE!!
Africa rises and stands tall and with children like all you here on Blogville, she beams with pride...
When you see this map what comes to mind and what do you see??
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
who indeed took over your soul
This man’s got swagger,
He’s not a Mr All Talk no action kinda guy
When he moves his lips its to speak the truth
He has his flaws and that makes him real
For we know you’re not Miss Perfect
He talks just like how he should,
He can roll out the mother tongue and
Switch it up in the next minute
He's your friend and your partner
He’s a hard worker and go-getter
He’s the one you’ll only ever truly love
He's the medicine to your pain
And you're not ashamed to admit to the world
You've got the love jones in your bones
Monday, 5 October 2009
Friday, 18 September 2009
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
And so I was told that……
Good girls don’t talk about sex aka good-good, think about happy sexing and God-forbid say anything about any sexual needs!
Good girls don’t know what a vibrator is
Good girls surely don’t have sex just for sexual gratification.
Good girls don’t flirt
Good girls don’t dance in the club
Good girls don’t have guy friends
Good girls don’t read the Kama Sutra, Zane
Good girls don’t have tattoos, want tattoos, think of tattoos..heck what is a tattoo?
Good girls don't have bad days, use profanity, let alone do a Serena!
Good girls don’t make mistakes
Judge me, Je m’en fous!! God knows I ain't perfect, tell me who in the world is? I'm a work in progress, I'm a seed growing into a flower, I'm a storm that's rising and getting stronger with every hour . That’s whats up!! An email from a blogger made me unlock the chains thank you dear friend.
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Thanks to my girls Kooks and Non-Non for helping with this post!! Wordmerchant will tell you how I wore my vexed face when this chick made me South African by default!! Blogville I'll be gone for a while, will I return, I doubt as I've got a severe case of BloggariaPS: I love you all, take care of yourselves and as always Happy Sexing xoxo
Monday, 18 May 2009
I see bright shades
It is the color of the rainbow
The shades of a great Summer’s day
The colour of snow-capped mountains
I hear the rhythm of the rain as it
Merges with the earth
The brightness of Sunflowers
The whiteness of the lilies
It’s the smile that lingers after a phonecall
It’s the tickled thoughts
The indulgence of escapades shared
I hear the falsetto
The melodies and joyous sounds
Of scandals told
I can taste the bitter sweet memories
The threats of pressing ‘end call’
Of laughing at ourselves
The taste of words, Caught in an angle of song.
The joys of friendship!
Its been a while since I've written such improtu pieces so forgive me...this was all 10 minutes work..
Monday, 11 May 2009
Friday, 24 April 2009
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Thursday, 26 March 2009
30 Commandments to Marry a 9JA Man or is Bobo?1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?) 2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it. Pass 3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged and raw "tell it as it is" girls, NOT WORKING. Fail for Shona 4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky "soul" sisters… FORGET IT). Pass (err before I go to the salon then its a fail!..lol) 5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects) Well since m now a Sunday School teacher its a pass abi? 6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!! True talk... 7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL
LOL!!!!!!No comment...FAIL...8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails). Amber on this one!! 9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves). I love my daddy...no daddy issues so err PASS 10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows) FAIL I guess coz I love my eye-colours..i mean MAC has so many so why choose the boring natural?? 11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order How can a Zimba girl like me know how to make egusi, et more? Afrobabe, Parakeet and Tigeress thank you for the lessons that are going to start now!! 12. Thou shall not be a "posh sturvs". Sushi or lasagne…uh ..Really? As much as I love my traditional foods I FAIL DISMALLY because I heart Sushi, one of my girls used to work for Yo!Sushi and boy did I think she was sushi on legs..everytime I saw her I wanted me some sushi! And I make a mean lasagne too 13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING. Fail - why would Mrs Beyonce Carter sing 'Pat ya weave girl, pat, pat, your weave' if not to show that's what we do???Abeggggg 14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy. Technically its a pass now coz I'm doing law..lol!! 15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO) FAIL DISMALLY!!! 16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABORMINATION) FAIL ONCE MORE because I intend to get a PHD!!!! 17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends. FAIL (And why should I let his friends think I'm dumb??) 18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy PASS : I never let out much anyway... 19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him "teach" you. LMAO....FAIL!!! So no mention of HAPPY SEXING..LOL!! 20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r'n'b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE). Come on now...so everyone shout with me FAIL!!!(Country music and co also lead to Failure!!) 21. Thou shall NOT an independent woman. (all those "I can pay my own bills" bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one! FAIL!!!!!! 22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all). FAIL!!!!! 23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE). LOL!! 24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE. lol!!! 25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY. I heart the families but..... 26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don't be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS). I'm sorry but I don't do obvious...FAIL with a BIG F!!! 27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated Understandable but you do need a friend or 2 to hunt with 28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always HARD to do sometimes so errr FAIL 29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING). Yahooze dance, Rumba,Dombolo,Electric Slide all lead to FAIL!!
Conclusion is I have only about 7 passes..LOL!!I'm hoping most guys don't work with them rules anyways...
Happy sexing to you all my Blogville family!!Thank You for Voting for me!!
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Monday, 16 March 2009
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot
Do I have a favourite book? From childhood I remember Enid Blyton, Hans Christen Andersen, Sweet Valley High teenage years I remember loving Jane Eyre, Pacesseters, Merchant of Venice(that’s why I loved 7 pounds I guess), Canterbury Tales, Romeo & Juliet, Danielle Steele (yes I read her books as a teenager!)Wole Soyinka, Things Fall Apart and now gosh I’ve read many… autobiographies from Confessions of a Video Vixen to Audacity of Hope, Long Walk to Freedom, Spiritual reads, The Secret, The Lady,Her Lover and Her Lord, Not Easily Broken, ; Romantic reads that have made me cry, I still say ‘Friends and Lovers’ by Eric Jerome Dickey had a part that got me wailing like a little kid, I felt the intensity of emotion! I’ve read erotica – Zane, Eric Jerome Dickey(this man knows how to get a woman all hot and bovvered!! I have ALL his books and most of which have been personally signed by the man himself..yup have met this man more than twice!), Terri McMillan’s works I adore and wish one day I can write like her! I so detest Stephen King…really!, I love me some African Literature! I love Zora Neale Hurston’s ‘Their Eyes were watching God’..one of my favourite books to date! So once more I ask myself do I have a favourite book??Sadly, or luckily for my books I don’t have a favourite, each has a memory, an emotion, a person I attach it to..as I lay me to bed each night reading some-one’s work, and I escape with the characters, I find myself at my happiest! Reading and books have been a constant friend to me, from the age of 6 when I entered the world of literature and after annoying both my mum and the patients at her surgery trying to read the magazines in the waiting room, hilarious when I tried to read 'Miscellaneous'..lol she got me Fairy Tales by Hans Christen Andersen ..that kept me quiet for about a week! My world became greater and interesting at 7 when I got my first library card(other than the school's library), I lived in that library, I would run away from home to escape to the library..sigh..I was the spelling Bee at my school because of reading! I have learnt a lot from books..heey where it not for Half of Yellow Sun I wouldn’t know that ‘Kedu’ means how are you in Igbo..and now I have fooled many an Igbo person..lol!! I have driven in LA, stayed in Venice, seen the Lagos markets, been to India, dodged a bullet in Iraqi, felt the betrayal of a cheated wife, became a nun, travelled to Egypt, lived in the Victorian era, as I became one with the characters in the many books I’ve read! The Alchemist was my best read for 2008! So far for 2009, I’ve loved Love Letters of Great Men, my first Sophie Kinsella book ‘ Remember Me’ and He’s Just Not That Into You
Woe be to him that reads but one book. George Herbert
If a man wants to put me off him all he has to say is ‘I don’t remember the last time I read a book!’…gosh that’s just as bad as telling me you don’t think I should get more shoes…you get my drift..a non-starter..I DELETE that person with no warning!!I’ve even told my friends that’s not cute to say because some folks say that ish as if its cute…errr so not!! I have a personal vendetta out to folks that don’t read..lol! Actually Roc dearest its one of my major pet peeves, folks who show-off about not reading! Yup, I am a book-worm and get turned on by a man who reads, you never run out of things to talk about! And if I'm to choose besides shoe-shopping and books that will be a tough one..seriously!!
I salute scribes everywhere! Writing is therapy for the writer and also for the reader! Anyway guys, what book(s) do you hold dear and close? Hope you’re all well and yeah my love for shoes is because of the shoe-box incident in my previous post..I blame the parents!! Nway tell Shona about your fav books and as always Happy Sexing xoxo
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather! My seasonal boos, as another season blends in with the next, trees have their leaves back, the flowers show off their beauty, we all accept that in order to be who we are, and to get on as we do its because of the different elements of our own individual beauty that make our bond so strong! To all my friends I love you!! I’ve also made some great friends here on Blogville, you guys are wonderful..love ya..and as always Happy Sexing xoxo
Monday, 23 February 2009
When I’m feeling at my least creative and I need ideas I turn to music, guaranteed I will hear a song that will send my mind into over-drive. There are some songs that don’t make sense, some that are way too deep and some you just want to meet the writer and shake their hand.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009