Tuesday, 7 April 2009

My Mojo's Gone A.W.O.L!!!

Ndeipi Blogville!!
I sincerely am convinced that I’ve lost my mojo, seriously…and that’s a frightening thought! Its gone, zilch, nada, zero, blank, zzzzzzz, oooh lawdy I need some help! Even the basics of flirting, and I’ll have you know that like RKelly ‘I’mma Flirt’ but guys my dearest darling mojo has left me..that magic, the certain je ne sais quoi is definitely on E and my tank needs some filling! Bloggers like Sexkitten, Scribble, Quaggar , Sir Roc et al who talk about their conquests/exploits showing off with their mojo-fied selves, yeah who knows they could be reliving their history from eons and eons ago(though I think Sexkittens aren’t from the past..lol) but still I can’t even bring myself to scribe about my past ones…what if I lost my skills?my prowess?all the vixen in me??..gosh what the heck happened to me!!! Don’t any-one mention Sunday School right about now!! Mojo, come back to me. I don't know where you went, but if you return, I solemnly promise to handle you with care!!
I managed to twist my ankle two weeks ago, so was confined to wearing flats…its not fun @ all, though yesterday I was determined to wear my heels, pain or no pain this pumps business was enough!! Got home and my grandma says ‘Shona! Take off the heels, you are stubborn like your father!I won’t be massaging that ankle tonight!’, guys this is what greeted me instead of our traditional two beijo (kisses) on the cheeks…and then she did this ‘clucking’ sound..I wore my pumps to work today..lol!!!The power of the elderly I guess!!

Well my i-pod was selecting some random but similar songs this morning that I had to chuckle to myself…and affirmed my belief that T-Pain has a drink problem ‘One More Drink’ by Luda ft T-Pain, ‘Blame it on the Alcohol’ Jamie Foxx Ft T-Pain, ‘Tipsy’ by J-Kwon and ‘Just Dance’ by Lady Gaga!! I had to think even my i-pod was a bit as the French would say ‘gaga’!!..lol…How many times have said it was because you were crunk/drunk/intoxicated and blamed it on the booze???
PS: I’m proud to introduce an exciting new blog ‘The African Women’ were I’ll be working with such literary greats that are Wordsmith, Tigeress, Temite, Ms Sula, Afrobabe, Buttercup,Good Naija Girl, Vera . The blog will cover all issues and if you have a burning issues you’d like us to cover or as Roc called us ‘Agony Aunties’ you have a situation you’d like our perspective on then heey send us an email : theafricanwomen@googlegroups.com
PPS: My darlings, tell me your drunk excuses (if any), I don't do 'blame it on the drink' because I don't get insanely, blacked out crunk, nope I remember all the ish & more, plus I'm more scared of myself when I'm sober..lol..!If you happen to meet my mojo please kindly send it back to me..I promise to pay whoever sends me my mojo!! Hope you're all well and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

65 comments:

Parakeet said...

Firsssssssssssssssst or not?

Parakeet said...

Now I know what i feels like with this yeye comment moderation thing.

Ehn have more sex and your mojo will be back. Trust me it works.

Sorry to hear about your twisted ankle. I'm off heels or now too cos I can feel the strain in my ankle area too. Those things are bad I hope we wont need walking sticks by the time we're 50. God forbid bad thing.

Looking forward to African women.

Qube The Wordsmith said...

dang second.....

yep like d Bird said u need a good shag babe

long.hard.sweaty.toe-curlin mind blowin orgasm.shag

Woow...I nid a cold shower...

Rose said...

Sorry...i do hope you find it...sooner than later...
If i do find it i'd surely return it to you.....

Sorry about your ankle...

Rose said...

Really excited about the African Women Blog...when does it start???

scribble,me.free said...

Shona, you should know I do Mojo transplants...it's a simple procedure...quite similar to the S.O.M.E.

As far as drunken excuses, I have none...never did anything I wouldn't have done sober...I've probably done worser things sober than I have drunk

MissLove said...

hope u feel bera honey... I have missed you oh... I have been so busy with school but U know i LOVE YA

Tigeress said...

WTH, i'm not first?! U dis Parakeet girl, where did u come from?

ShonaVixen said...

@Parakeet - Well done hon and yup you are FIRST!!!!! Hmmmpf, so my dearest darling Parakeet you want me to go out there and have sex!!!! LOL...but you see I have lost my mojo, there even the thought of sex isn't that exciting to me...any other ideas besides humping???

@Qube - Lol @ what d bird said...gosh that made me laugh..lol!!Hmmmpf once more you think I need to get on the sex wagon to get my mojo back!!! And look @ getting yourself all hot and bovvered...

@Rose - Thank you hon and I surely do hope so too!!The blog starts on the 11th of April...please do visit!!

@SMF - Doctor, Doctor I really hate injections would you have capsules instead??
I'm with you on sober behaviour..I've done things that wow me coz I was actually sober...M such a happy drunk that I don't do silly stuff..besides slur and ta-l-k r-e-a-l-l-y- s-l-o-o-w!!LOL

ShonaVixen said...

@Miss Love - M good hon, just don't want to hurt myself for my grandma to get back at me saying 'I told you so'...that woman's words can sting like pepper!!
I missed you too boo and I LURV YAH!!!

@Tigeress - sorry hon, dunno how you missed the first position...

~Sirius~ said...

Sorry sweetie about the ankle........you should let it rest.

Secured a front row seat at African Woman.

What ever it takes you have to bring out your Mojo!

Tigeress said...

lol! Goodluck with your mojo. I know what that feels like. :)

K said...

I always blame it on the alcohol even when I'm sober. There was one guy who had my number I think I gave it to him for something and he kinda got the vibe that I was not happy with him calling. So he got annoyed one day and pointed out that if I hadn't wanted him to call why did I give him my number and I replied that I was drunk. He replied "ah chick we were @ church when you gave me this". dead pan face I looked at him and said "And what's your point, I was coming straight from the club. Like I said I was drunk" *K leaves singing blame it on the goose that got you feeling loose..blame it on the al-al alcohol!*

miz-cynic said...

shona....dont i just know wht ure talking about...sometimes,or shd i say some seasons u just aint getting it on...as in getting men to notice u enuff.me i attribute it to hormones.....i think some seasons we females give off vibes tht we will be receptive to ....mating.e.t.c so more guys will pick the vibes and come to you more,lol....dunno if ur getting my drift.

ShonaVixen said...

@Sirius - thank you hon!!Yup front row seats will give you the best views!!! And I know I'll get that mojo back or is it I hope?..LOL!!!

@Tigeress - Phew some-one knowing how I feel!!!!

@K - Haaa-a sha...LOL!!!!K..m looking a fool at work thanks to you...m sure the dude prayed for you thinking you hit the club, and left and strolled straight into church..LOL!!!LOL!!!!

@Miz-Cynic - My girl!!LOL...yes I do get the drift of what you're saying..I guess its just not mating season for Shona then...who knows the more the sun shines I'll gradually get my mojo back...just maybe..LOL!! I'm just going to start flirting like mad!!!LOL!!!

RocNaija said...

Lol @ your response to SMF..
You prefer mouth capsules to bum injections..?!
Can't believe you fell for that..
When he comes back he'll be asking if you spit or swallow.

Lol @ K..
I should try that sometime..
"I should try that sometime!"

Classic!

RocNaija said...

So back to the post m'lady..
And the absconded 'mojo'..
Why do I for some reason get the feeling your next post will be titled 'How Shona got her groove back'..?
Bank holidays and the sun tend to act as good aphrodisiacs.. ankle pain or not.. :)
Sorry about your ankle though.. I can just picture your nan shakin her head in disbelief at these "children of nowadays"

RocNaija said...

I don't get to drink much when I go out unfortunately..

Mainly cos I drive so everyone relies on moi to be sober to ensure everyone else gets home intact..

So I tend to restrict my alcohol consumption to when I'm home with an interesting person..

Parakeet said...

Yeeeeeeeee. I came first o.

Ehm, Shona I dont have any ideas o. Hey what about some erotic movies to set you in the mood.

And Tigress, dont try me o. Let me enjoy my first position biko. Sombori jealous me (sing along.)

Non-non said...

Ndeipi shona? Oh goodluck in finding your mojo hun, as you say with a different season coming up, it may jus be the right season for shona to have some happy sexing.
Today was awesome! My mojo was indeed running loose internally and maybe a lil flirt here and there. Unlike you alcohol unleashes all my barriers and i can do some crazy stuff wen intoxicated but still no regrets the next morning even tho i sometimes get amnesia and all. Have a new respect and limits now. Ope you'll be back to rocking them heels soon chick!

ShonaVixen said...

@Roc - Now, why are you insuniating and wanting SMF to think otherwise...and should he ask me what I do with my capsules..I swallow of course!!why spit out good medication to make me better and bring mojo back??Mama taught me never to waste, especially the healthy stuff ...lol!!!

I wonder why you're getting that feeling my Lord!! Intuition/sixth sense or something..do tell!! In-door drunk...coool

ShonaVixen said...

@Non-Non - I shan't say none about your case of amnesia...lol..my lips are so sealed boo!!PROMISE!!And yup hopefully soon I'll be rocking them heels like.....

BSNC said...

wait i think i just saw your mojo. ohh it just ran away again..lol. okay am not helping. hope you find it soon.

LusciousRon said...

Hope your mojo comes back in style. Sorry about your ankle, is it better now?

Writefreak said...

Oh Shona! Sorry about the twisted ankle!
And no, a Sunday school teacher has no business having Mojo...hehehehehe (my evil laughter)

Hadassah said...

hmmmm I have never blamed the alcohol for anything. I a tryna think right now I have no drunk excuses. I usually drink on weekends and sleep in. I gues thats the excuse fro sleeping more I have a hangover.

your ankle girl stick to those flats I mean they are coming fancy styles. Michelle Obama rocks the well too.

Stesha said...

One can never be without their mojo:)

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Funms-the rebirth said...

thinking * how do we get Shona's mojo back? *
we have to do something about it this weekend......
sorry about ur ankle dear

Quaggar said...

what u need is a good massage, starting from them sore ankles, all the way up... and not from yr grandma!

concerning yr missing mojo.. i'm sure she(he)'s lurking around the corner somewhere, if u look hard enough.

Happy searching, and sexing when u find...

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Girl I know what happened to your Mojo.....its right here with me, need bucketloads of it coz sex claus is flying into town this easter, and MDM has a chimney that needs soot cleaning lol. Looking forward to reading the new blog, and once I have coerced sex claus to lay my cobwebs to rest you will get your groove back

Doja 2.0 said...

This is really terrible....I dont mean to scare you but maybe you have used up all your mojo!

MissLove said...

MOJO PLEASE COME BACK TO SHONA!

Afrobabe said...

Shit...I was online all day how come it didn't update?? Now I am number uncountable!!!

Girl, I've lost mine as well...plus my ability to blog...Then reading kitten,scribble and roc's posts doesn't help...even Chari's post has become hard to read cos all he talks about now is how much he needs some animal passion...that should be me wanting it...sob sob...

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

You good, don't trip.

wordmerchant said...

Shona your mojo is with you...its just that we are in the season of "no sexing". Think of it like autumm, winter, spring and so on..at this very moment in time..no body is having sex in blogsville!!!! apart from the obvious few who keep torturing us. Let me not mention names, they know themselves lol!

I think we need to do prayers..serious one and very soon.

Really looking forward to the African Woman

Hows the ankle hun? berra now?

Buttercup said...

looooooooooool i was just thinking *SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER* when u asked us not to mention it..shame lovie..ur mojo will come back, ok? it's just a phase..lol..

awwww sowee bout ur ankle..hope it's better now? lol @ grandma..

Confessions of a London gal said...

Vixen!!! Whats wrong with my Vixen??!! No mojo? We gats to get this fixed sharppish!!!

So how are we gonna fix it?!

Sugestions sugestions!!!

Make I find you stong Naij man with a good ol strong kokomycine (Listen to Dbanj's songs and you'll know the meaning of that, or berra still tell Roc to translate it for you. lol)

RocNaija said...

Naughty Naughty m'lady..!
Why waste.. I hear ya'!

Erm.. CLG.. Since when did Roc become a translator..?

Hmm..

Vera Ezimora said...

Who stole your mojo?! We can't have that now, can we? We need to send out a search team.

I'm looking forward to African Women. YAY!!!

Don't mind Roc. I saw his comment too. Yeye child.

bumight said...

u lost ur mojo? thats what u get for blogging about sunday school, LOL!

Rita said...

I guess it needed a break :-(

I am proud to announce that I am the first follower of the African Women blog...

Bombchell said...

lmao girl u so crazy.

Sexkitten said...

Watch a lot of porn if you need help getting in the mood. If you don't have a boyfriend, masturbate...lots. Don't let a day go by without having an orgasm. Tee hee. I'm telling you, it works.

You'll be running all over town dripping of sex appeal and drawing men to you in droves.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

your granny is too much, lol! So sorry you twisted your ankle, sweetie.

How you feeling today?

doll said...

Hope u find ur mojo soon....

kay-shawn said...

I offer a service to replace lost mojo at a premium price. For you however, I will give a discount.

Olamild said...

eiyaaa

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Omo Oba said...

mojo dont visit shona ever again. come 2 me.

Tigeress said...

liking the sexy leg profile. lol!

ISA YUGUDA 4 PRESIDENT said...

Shona, come with me! You dont know how much I have changed. Come with me and lets change the face of Nigeria forever.

Shubby Doo said...

how have i arrived so late to this post...sorry sweetie...how is the ankle...better i hope

u aint lost it...u've just put it away for safe keeping so the riff raff cant get hold of it...personally for me it takes a special kind of person to work it...what am i saying jare...my 'mojo' comes sprinting out of the closet with 'miss dirty talk and sexy moves' and they all start heading down to great sex street...lol

hope u r cool hun

p.s
have missed u too!

Afrobabe said...

loving ur new profile pic...
Is that who I think it is with u???

oya update....Yeah I dare say it..

ibiluv said...

i found it

is it home yet???

i sent it your way!!!!!!!!!!

Angel said...

Im not even worried you lost your mojo! im actually more worried for the men when it comes back lol

Hope you are cool love!

wordmerchant said...

shona baby please update!!!

aloted said...

gosh! i havent been here in a while....so sorry my sister\

i hope your ankle is better now??

The Invisible Man said...

How could you lost your Mojo when they are lotsa us detectives that could help you find it free of charge.... lol
Holla

mike said...

Please find your mojo soon

mike said...

please find your mojo soon

Sweetnothin' said...

Yes, T-Pain has a drinking problem.
but i still love him. maybe you need to get your drink, get a bit freaky and your mojo will come back.

Writefreak said...

Sister Shona! Just checking in, you good? Been a minute, did you lose your blog mojo?

Rita said...

True true the blogging mojo is gone...how now? Pls come and update. Atleast blog about your version of the easter outing...

The Diary of A Naija Girl said...

Hmmmm...African Women Blog...Interesting!

Chi-Chi said...

I really like you guys blog

The African Women