Tuesday, 16 September 2008

What if we had The Manual of Life??

My post was inspired by 'The Women', an entertaining movie I watched this past weekend with the BFF and so loved it! Imagine if there was a 'Manual of Life'? The bible is one such book I know but imagine if there was a manual like the one we have for our tvs, ipods, washing machine.. A handbook we could refer to if we wanted to deal with a heartbreak, betrayal by friends, how to follow your dreams with out fear, the right path to happiness/contentment, how to comfort your teenage daughter after a bitter divorce, how to deal with grief, the procedures, the how tos and all that. Well, I love spontaneity, learning lessons myself but sometimes I wish there was just a guide-book that would make it easier or better. So in that respect I have some Instructions to Life written by the Dalai Lama (wiv some of my comments)
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Could I define myself as a risk-taker? Yes, I have taken risks with my jobs but them coming into my emotional life..then I have to say, this is one thing I'll have to learn and be willing to take...I fear taking risks for those who will end up disappointing me, so I guard myself well but it seems the Dali Lama knows better than me no?

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Don't they say as one door closes, another window opens? Who out there hates losing??I so hate losing but well I wouldnt say I'm a sore loser but lets be honest..losing sucks!!But if it makes us learn a lesson and better ourselves or our approach/method then its a good thing right?But still losing sucks..lol...

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self ,Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

Self-respect is very important,it determines the relationships we will allow ourselves to have, take pride in being who we are and love ourselves. Respect others and you'll be respected and not get unwarranted disrespect (though there are some individuals out there who seem to thrive on disrespecting others!!). Responsibility for all your actions - who doesnt initially blame some-one else when something goes wrong?I have done it a few times, but when I then re-evaluate the situation I realise that somehow Shona could have had a part to do with it.(even a teeny bit...heey its hard accepting I was wrong!..lol)My mom always said when you point the finger at some-one, there's three fingers pointing right back @ ya...

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Difficult to accept at the time it happens but when we do look back we do realise that things did work out for the better after all!

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Now the Dalai Lama must have written this one for ShonaVixen..lol..breaking the rules properly is always fun...learning the loopholes included??LMAO

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

I have learnt this one, and thats why I'm able to shout out 'I have great friends'!We talk it out, yes we disagree but we deal with it and even laugh all about it!

7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Owning up to say I'm sorry, hard as it is to swallow my pride and raise my hand and say those words, I'll do it. Will also correct that which needs correcting.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

I love my own company and always make sure I get some 'ME TIME'. Before I go to bed, I pray, fill in my Gratitude Book, and just think and love me some me!

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

Change is good, so long as we dont compromise who we are, hard sometimes when you're in foreign country as there are challenges of wanting to fit-in but so longs as we have our principles straight and never compromise our values..its all gravy!!

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Silence is golden so they say right? Keyword here for me is 'SOMETIMES' as its hard for Shona to be silent, I always want to have my say but when I do stay silent be very afraid...seriously..lol..

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

I guess I'm trying....

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

Praying together helps and communicating = open door policy applies

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

Hmmm, now this is easier said than done...its difficult sometimes to just argue about the here and now without reference to some scene in the past...'But you did the same thing last time', or 'You said that last month'...let go, let flow, deal with the present deed,*note to self*

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

Thats why I love Blogville, we learn from each other, we share that which we know, we ask our inner most questions and some-one will come to the rescue. Lesson shared for me was from MamaBomboy:'Dont tell Bomboy to stop playing with the wok or he'll come after you with it'..lol..and my gurl Emilia's diet regime and she shares great recipes too...now that's commendable

15. Be gentle with the earth.

Recycle, recycle, recycle!!

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

It dont mean spend too much money on holidays, I'm sure even in our own countries, there are places we still havent been. Heey I was in Luton 2 weeks ago..lmao...

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Wow...this couldnt have been much more truer, but then again this is the Dalai Lama. I know some females who are with men not because they love them but because they feel society expects them to have a man in their life, they feel they need to have a man...love is the best foundation.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I just made a list of stuff I had to give up along the way and on this road that I am on ...Thank you God for bringing me thus far. I do advise you all to do this especially when you feel like you havent accomplished much, you're doubting your success and all!!

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Now I think by now y'all know how my reckless abandon to love is with those in my inner circle of trust ie my friends and family...some how when it comes to relationships I approach with extreme caution and have a barrier..me is a fragile lil thing that appears tough!

I love cooking and I always cook loads...my mama told me that you never know when a guest will come to your house so I always cook an extra portion

I hope this wasnt too long...again!!I havent been feeling too well this week, guess its a bug or something..Shona needs some TLC..lol.. Mz Dee thank you for the award, I would like to say I love you all my great friends here on Blogville (i dont have to name names coz y'all know who u are!!)and u know I dont say 'I LOVE YOU' lightly, so guys you're all fabulous.my gurls Lolo,TeeTay,Audzz n my sisters Mimsy, Alexa & Tutti Frutti I am blessed to have u in my life !!Ok hope y'all are doin fine my blogville familia and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

36 comments:

Naapali said...

Gongo Aso, oti so indeed.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Damn
what i would have given to be first
Naapali everyone has a price
whats yours so that you can delete your comment and I can be first.lol
Wise words Shona, took notes at number 7 i really ought to learn to be more humble and accept when im wrong instead of arguing my side to death..guess its the lawyer in me that can never seem to know when to give up on being right.........but im learning.

Funms said...

i loved the women!!!! did u notice they never showed a guy in any of the scenes????? nice lessons! so true

Rita said...

I sooo liked # 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly....

And I am soooo tripped about your gratitude book...I'm encouraged.

Thanks for sharing this part of you and this post as well.

Emilia said...

Shona,you did it again great post girl... In my eyes you simplified the grand instruction book, the bible into main concrete points for practical use. I felt it and if I may I will copy this and paste it on my wall meditate over these points. What you get is not what you always need? for sure...
And point number 14 reconfirms the saying in the bible it give greater oy to give than to recive...
Waita hako shaaz
L8r

Afrobabe said...

Funny enough I saw The women this weekend and the lesson I learnt from it was the one given her by her mum…Don’t always involve your friends in all issues especially relationship issues cos they will all have different opinions and end up making you do something you wouldn’t have done…Remember to always do you…

Love you too darl…

Afrobabe said...

@ funms...my friend was so upset when we got to the end of the movie without a glimps of Steve..lmao..

Afronuts said...

you know the reason why you can get an actual manual for life?

Life is way too complicated!!

Thats why the Bible can also be complicated yet simple when deeply read

naijalines said...

@ Naapali
Hello;-)

Hey girl! Just love u.

naijalines said...

I love them all. Nos 1,2, 3, 5, 17, 18, 19, especially.

Shona you say:
"5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Now the Dalai Lama must have written this one for ShonaVixen..lol..breaking the rules properly is always fun...learning the loopholes included??LMAO"

Hehehehe. You say it girl! The Dalai Lama must have written this for NaijaLines too. LOL!

Bondgirl said...

When you lose, don't lose the lesson...loved that one. For real we sometimes get so caught up in losing we forget that perhaps there is a lesson to be had. And as for the other suggestions I will be printing them out....never hurts to have your own manual of life. In fact I have always wanted to have a journal where I advise my future children of lessons I learn't and how I dealt with them.

aloted said...

i need to print this out...
am glad u shared this..thanks

so the women was a nice movie?...hmm maybe i shld go see it but they didnt show any guy? hmm..lol..ok o

ShonaVixen said...

@naapali - Gongo Aso is my song of the moment..m driving all those around me insane..and the things i dont understand a word of Yoruba but just love it...and i found the lyrics so now i know how to sing it and i also kinda know what he's singing about..kinda being the key-word!!

@MDM - Gurl you were meant to have that crown, considering the time i posted this!!Yeah i been told as well that i'm definitely studying law for a reason..argue my way thru anything..lol..

@Funms - mehn, never did we see that man's face, i really wanted to see @ least one you know!!One point i thought he was going to come out was when Eva and the daughter were talking in the bathroom..but noooo...

@Rita - yeah so love the one about breaking the rules! And the Gratitude book which i learnt about when i read The Secret last year, is such a great way that you actually realise how many things you truly need to appreciate and be grateful for. And have also seen my Gratitude Intentions come to fruition!!

@Emilia - shamwa all the thanx go to u!!Them stuffed peppers recipe went down well wiv ma gurls who were around for dinner lastnite!!Ta and luv ya xoxo

@Afro - my dearest one!!Yeah The Women had so many lessons and was laughing most of the time...a bit emotional too!!My fav one was Jada Pinkett...hilarious!!

@Afronuts - u said it right!!Life is too complicated...if only there was a handbook to make it easier...


@Naijalines - me lurv u long time...and heey of course we'd both eye the one about breaking the rules properly so we dont get caught..lol..

@Bondgirl - wow i like that...writing ur life experiences, the lessons learnt, how you handled different situations n all...hmmm maybe tell them that burning incense doesnt deter an African mother still knowing there's a man living in the house...lol...xoxo

@aloted - yeah print it out, stick it somewhere u can see it maybe every morning and well u can also think of ShonaVixen...lol...

badderchic said...

when I got here, I would have been third, now Im thirteen, dayum. work plenty today o.

nice lessons. which one be the women?

Red Sapphire said...

I am so going to look for that movie.Took notes on evrything u said.I appreciate your comments on my blog as well.You're a darling.

good naija girl said...

Thanks for sharing these wise words (with your insight too). They always bear repeating :)

mona said...

Hey shona,im sori your not well.whats wrong? We love you too by the way.loads! Great post.i love it. @2: i believe in this.i thnk we should always learn from our mistakes.i think my greatest learning lessons have come from losing. @3: respect and responsibility are greatly missing these days but are so important.@4:Gods ways arent ours and at times he wont gives us the razor we are crying for and later we see it was a blessing.@6:im guilty of holding grudges.i nd to learn to forgive.@9:the only constant thing in life is change.i love change.@10:i just love your bed time routine.i shld start doin sthng like that.bt i love alone time and its hard with a kid so i take myself out to movies or buy myself a drink once in a while.@13: lord im so guilty of bringing up the past though i hate it being done to me.@16: i love that one.i also purpose to go somewhere new every year.its great.and youre right it doesnt hav to cost alot.even somewea in your own country is gud enuff.@17: loved this.women many times do settle just coz they need a man. I had wanted to post earlier but my network at work was down. Im usin my phone to post this so dont mind if the comment is all congested. Get well soon! :-*

mona said...

Hey shona,im sori your not well.whats wrong? We love you too by the way.loads! Great post.i love it. @2: i believe in this.i thnk we should always learn from our mistakes.i think my greatest learning lessons have come from losing. @3: respect and responsibility are greatly missing these days but are so important.@4:Gods ways arent ours and at times he wont gives us the razor we are crying for and later we see it was a blessing.@6:im guilty of holding grudges.i nd to learn to forgive.@9:the only constant thing in life is change.i love change.@10:i just love your bed time routine.i shld start doin sthng like that.bt i love alone time and its hard with a kid so i take myself out to movies or buy myself a drink once in a while.@13: lord im so guilty of bringing up the past though i hate it being done to me.@16: i love that one.i also purpose to go somewhere new every year.its great.and youre right it doesnt hav to cost alot.even somewea in your own country is gud enuff.@17: loved this.women many times do settle just coz they need a man. I had wanted to post earlier but my network at work was down. Im usin my phone to post this so dont mind if the comment is all congested. Get well soon! :-*

nahjaj said...

"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk." ... I know but why...?

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." ... This is so true!!!

mona said...

Im going to look for the women.and ill tel u when i watch it.im heading to wikipedia now to read more about it.i love the gratitude book idea

Auds said...

right! i'm going to watch the movie in an hour then i'll come back to jot my lines...

Audzz said...

Movie was good - Jada's jokes were good entertainment, lol and I'm was also dissapointed they didnt show Steve but i guess it was all about "The Women"...

So true, gotta be with someone because u love them not becoz u need them. Its selfish to expect someone to be your oxygen....
I'm learning to approach love with reckless abandon and ridding the fear of dissapointment that was once holding me back....
If i lose the love, i'll gain the lesson so hey.... tho i'm more faithful in winning the love!

Hope you are feeling better Shona and will get some good TLC proto!
love you too b

Ade Adeyemi said...

this is excellent hun! ... really want to see 'the women',I think these are excellent life lessons ... I'll definitely keep referring back to this... i mean how can I possible not!

Vee said...

hey, loving your blog!

TheAfroBeat said...

Nicely written - i concur. Live a litte, love a little. Completely feel you on guarding your heart though, those things were made too fragile.

Parakeet said...

Hmm...damn Shon, you do a good job! Those things are so right and is Dalai Lama not just an awesome human being?

I cant wait to see the women cos I love Eva Mendes. So beautiful funny thing is she reminds me of Halle Berry. Why, i dont have a clue!

Mz. Dee said...

Damn i personally love No 13 & 17. Almost like truer words hv never been spoken!

Vimbai said...

Love your blog chica! i wish this life came with a manual, would make things a helluva lot easier sha!

uNWrItten* said...

awww..i really liked this...the women was pretty good..though i would rather have watched it curled up in my bed..eating icecream..:)

ShonaVixen said...

@badderchic - hmmm better leave ur mark here next time hon...
@GNG - thank u gurl
@Red Sapphire - thanx for gracing my pages..m loving ur blog hon!!

@Mona - i love you...you're such a doll, m feeling alive again!!yay!!thanx for checking on how i was doing...yeah my bed routine is now something i just cant do, if you can get a diary or notebook and note down what ur grateful for and ur gratitude intentions..u'll be amazed how most of those intentions will come to pass!! The Women is a good movie...

@nahjaj - yup all the Dalai Lama was saying is so true

@Audzz - yeah a good women only movie too...but i could have done wiv seeing a man..lol..and i love u hon, u been there since this blog only had 3 comments and stuff...kisses

@Ade - thanx for passing by!!and glad u'll be visiting me more often even if its to refer back to this post..lol...xoxo


@Vee - thanx home gurl

@theafrobeat - thank u very much!


@Parakeet.. thank you, compliments from you i dont take lightly...and i'd want to spend the day with the Dalai Lama, just to hear him say some of his wise words!!So Eva reminds you of Halle??Hmmm...i wonder why..lol..

@Mz Dee - because of ur internet probs i wont say nothing!!but yess these words couldnt have been truer!!

@Vimbai - thanks a lot quarter pear..lmao..glad there's more of us here on Blogville. And yup i wish there was a manual even if we only could use it once a year...

@Unwritten - thanking u!!Hmm ice-cream and a movie..doing that 2nite as SATC dvd is out today and will be watching it AGAIN in my bed this time around...

noelia ~ said...

hmm a guide would be useful, but it would also take out the fun out of life!

ps. thanks for visiting my blog ^^

dejanae said...

yep
good life lessons

NikkiSab said...

Everytin is soooo true!!! It covers most of d issues dat we all need to guide us thru life. Shona - good job.

tutti frutti said...

That was so very true and so very mature Shona - I must hand it to you!!!
Sigh - yea I do wish there was an instruction manual especially over matters of the heart - with a very big chapter on forgiveness and anger..... practicals and the whole works....

The Invisible Man said...

cool stuff

~Sirius~ said...

Learn the rules so you know how to break them- nice, that's lesson no.1 for me.....nice spot