Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Great Friends and Silly Refusals!!

Isnt it great to have great friends!!! I was brought to tears last night by my girl,my rock, my confidant! She got me these gorgeous designer shoes(I had an orgasmic moment when I saw them shoes)...I wasnt even expecting it. We've always shared great presents, BUT this time she went all out! And its not that she forked out an expensive present (*cough*) but they way she did it(a treasure hunt trail in my house..), and what we've been through this year!I dont have many female friends, acquitances yes, but friends I can count them on one hand! And one thing I can say is we have a foundation of trust, I can say anything and they wont judge me. I value their advice, we do disagree, our views of an 'attractive' guy are different, our fashion senses are different but its how different we are that compliments our friendship! They've pushed me and supported me in my career choices, on my book-writing project! I have distanced myself from former friends because that foundation of trust was tampered with and they have been devalued to the 'acquitances' folder. Today I'd like the world to know I have the greatest friends and I so love them...through thick n thin we rise!! I have also met great people here on Blogville..u guys rock!!!

Was out of town this weekend to celebrate a friend's bday& it was good fun. Met some-one I had once offered a helping hand to, we had lost touch so it was good to see her again. At the party, there were some females who had brought their husbands to the party. People could be seen muttering, shaking their heads and all sorts...WHY? Well, because their husbands were not only much older than them BUT they were also white. People seemed to see something wrong with that picture, it really couldnt have been love or is it? I tried to defend them saying we really couldnt be judges but i was hushed by a talk to the hand gesture and that I was only trying to be 'nice'.

I'm not saying that those girls might have had ulterior motives when they married their men, but I'm saying there could be something else they've grown to love or fond of on their partner. I have also said 'Those two dont suit each other' just judging by the appearance of the couple, maybe the looks, height, weight etc. Who still wonders what Beyonce sees in Jay-Z? Ok maybe not them, because I find Jay-Z so attractive!(he has that err je ne sais quoi). A friend of mine also told me that she goes for guys that most would call ugly, but she called it 'unique'.
Sometimes we even drop potential partners because of what our friends might have said, or our parents. I know some-one who wouldnt date a guy just because he was 'too dark'! I remember a convo I had with Afrobabe (a recently acquited great friend),where I told her that there are certain accents I just wont date..lol..vain..maybe! I however have dated non-Zimbabweans, and actually prefer it that way!! So what's the silliest thing you've said 'hell naw' to?It might be silly to others but to you its not...share with me. And as always happy sexing..xoxo

35 comments:

aloted said...

first! oya let me go read :)

I am learning from the masters!!!

aloted said...

damn! wats with thsi blog approval runs now...ohhhhhhhhhhh

aloted said...

ok i have read.

Hmm i totally feel u about friends o...i guess/think the older we get the better we are at discerning who we can indeed call friends. We catch some we loose some...thats life men!

TravelDiva said...

That's so nice! There's nothing better than good girlfriends--friends you can count on through thick and thin; friends you can hang with and have a blast; girls that have your back!

TravelDiva said...

That's so nice! There's nothing better than good girlfriends--friends you can count on through thick and thin; friends you can hang with and have a blast; girls that have your back!

Afrobabe said...

Me doubts I am first...lol

Afrobabe said...

I have said no to a man based on height, how much money he had or didn’t have, his race…infact any excuse under the sun…

I have also said yes for this same reasons…But the one thing that is a must for me is good spoken English…Highly important…oh and the ability to pretend to know what they are saying..lol…

I am soooooooooo jealous of your shoes…
As for couples that don’t match, I am afraid I am also guilty of saying black girls with older white men were just looking for legal rights to stay but since I spent some time with such a couple I have come to be more liberal minded…they seemed to have so much fun…he treated her like a child to be pampered which suited her just fine….me liked too…but errrrmmmm me likes my men my age!!!

Eb the Celeb said...

now you know darn well if I dude that looks exactly like jay-z and looked like he only made 30k a year you would not even look his way...

people think jay-z is attractive because money makes you attractive... and that is all there it to it...lol

Funms said...

great friends r really hard to find. ur lucky to ve one....
lets see,i wrote off a guy once cuz of his looks and i was worried what my then- friends would say.... ive grown now and to me, if i like u, i do, i dont care what others say

ibiluv said...

i cant date a mad that *re bons*....

the cant string a word in english guys or those who have silly accents.....

.......also..........erm....erm if his *kini* is small.........i will run o..........lol

naijalines said...

I can't remember any frivolous things I've used as an excuse to say no to a guy...ok maybe one or two;-)

1. Dress sense (though it probably wouldn't matter to me now. We'd just go shopping, lol.

2. Eating rice with a spoon or noisy eating. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

ShonaVixen said...

@ aloted - well u took gold, silver n bronze my dear..lol..and yes the older we get, we do lose some friends along the way and gain even better ones

@Traveldiva - you said it right girl..girls that have your back are true gems!!

@Afro..sorry o..lol..and wait till u see the shoes..lol..i'm with you about men the same age!!

@Eb the celeb//hmmm a broke Jay-Z look-a-like..lol...i just like Jay's swagger, his voice and the man he is..so i guess if broke Jay-Z had his swagger n all..lol..

@funms - yes so true, we do outgrow some of the 'vanity' and can actually look back and laugh at ourselves.

@ibiluv - hmmm small err 'kini' for real no-one can handle that one, we needs the mandingos..lmao! oooh yes he has to be able to write and speak good english!!

@Naijaline - girl i so feel u on the noisy eaters...i cant hang with that one for reals!! and funny how m also about the dress sense..i remember i met a guy who was stuck in the 80s and i really couldnt hang when he said'No-one can change my dress sense'..i thought cue for ShonaVixen to leave..lol..

Waffarian said...

Hurray for good friends!

The best part is the non judgemental part...so hard to find people in general who wouldnt judge you and learn to respect your desires in life. I have lost many friends for this particular reason. Advice is good and should always be given, but if somebody has made a choice, one should learn to respect that as well. I have learnt to do that over the years, not to insist on "my" way but respect that each human being is on their own path in life. However, women find it very hard to let others make their own decisions. We are constantly telling others just "how" they should live their lives. Anyway, I think thats one of the greatest attributes good friendships have, the ability to respect the desire of another.

As for men...hmmmmm I am quite an open person so I have dated all sorts....my big thing though is manners. I can't stand rude guys or men that lack etiquette..

Oh, and then the younger black woman, old white man thing. I grew up in warri (oil companies, lots of white men working on oil rigs, offshore, etc) so that picture was part of my everyday life. I think cos of that, its a natural part of my world. It doesn't bother me and frankly speaking, its none of my business, everybody with im own life.

Bondgirl said...

Lol, I have said no to someone because they were Zambian..mind you I am zambian but had a thing for Zimbabweans for awhile AND hello Jay-Z...I so would not mind being the small house to Mrs Sean Carter's big house...lol. I also know a friend of mine who broke up with a guy because he made African noises while they were making love i.e eyah, ehe etc etc...you need to hear it live its funny when my friend does it!

badderchic said...

Aww, you are so lucky mine best friend just keeps looking for my own trouble lol sure I'll miss it if he stops tho

ShonaVixen said...

@Waffarian - yes being non-judgemental does mean a lot!I have had some people who live the way they live and expect me to be their shadows, like you rightfully said its about respecting how we are separate individuals..
Rude guys i really cant stand..when their arrogance is making them so rude and obnoxious..that aint even acceptable let alone sexy!!

@Bondgirl...you had a thing for my Zim brothas??Of all the southern nationalities besides Zim, i love Zambians(thier warmth n all or is it the Zambians i met??Kasongo i miss ya)..and as for the men..hmmm my South African brothas rock!!LOL..ok thats another post..lol..hmmm African sounds, just imagining them has me in stitches!!

@badderchic - yeah sometimes they do look for your trouble o but i guess thats why we love them!!Friends are truly hugs from God

Parakeet said...

Hmm...well one could never tell what's really up with such couple. I think it may just be stereotyping. I could be led more to believe that the women may have had ulterior motives marrying the older white dudes if they were in Africa, but here? Am not so sure!

pamela said...

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

Happy birthday... :-) . I read about it on afrobabe's blog. I was about to sing the how old are you now but my fear is that you will sing it right back on my birthday so...ehm...ehm...lol...I won't sing it.

:-)

But I am glad that you had a blast.

:-)

city girl said...

i can relate to having a great friend esp one that has never let u down....

for guys, i can totally confess ive been vain, may still be a little vain but then, its what i want right? Ive discarded guys for not dressing well, for being unattractive, for bad table manners, alot of reasons. i think its cuz of my career world and al but im trying to grow past it. get to know people better cuz its not good to judge a book by its cover...
thanks for ur comment on my blog

Afrobabe said...

lmao @ blond girl...African sex sounds hey...hmmm gotta try that!!!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Im a friendship slut, I get bored with people easily and can be really good friends with someone and then next month cant stand thier company, pyscho issues i guess, but my inner circle of trust has always remained consistent, we dont call each other friends anymore we are way past that point more like sisters now.

I cant stand men who cry,I think if I had to chose between a player and a cryer (life and death kinda situation) I would rather have the player. seriously God never intended men to cry note cry as in wailing, eyes whelming up is fine, crying loudly is not.

ShonaVixen said...

@Parakeet - you are so right!!wish u'd been there helping me defend these girls and their men..lol..

@Pamela - dont you even dare sing that song...lmao..thanx for d bday wishes and yup had a blast wiv Miss Afro there as well!!

@City Girl - thanx for also stopping by. Ur blog rocks!! Yes m vain in the sense of dressing, coz i have a certain dress sense and my man should compliment me..i like them daper!!Bad table manners - i so hate noisy eaters!!One of my friend's called me saying she couldnt have a future wiv a guy coz he made sounds when chewing..lol...


@MDM - yeah once you're so close its more a sisterhood!I call my girls my book-ends...
Hmm men who wail??Why are they wailing hon?Wat u doing to the brothas..lol..I love guys who can show a bit of emotion BUT wailers as Amy would say NO NO NOOOOO!!

ShonaVixen said...

@ Afrobabe - yeah I also want to hear more about those sounds!!Bond girl where are u for the audio..lol..

wellsbaba said...

finally I find shona vixen! ma first tym here ,im luvin it!
true friends are difficult2find n jewels to keep!happy4u....anywais,concernin dose girls wif white older husbands..well I think I share ur view jare im somwat lyk u i try2view pple frm a diff angle there mayb alot of marriages like dat based on false love but hey,there is no fake without a true!...lol

Chari said...

I-can't-stand-a-woman-that-STINKS...
I mean a lady with BO....arrrghh....I could die!

Naija Idol said...

Happy sexing to u too..

I once turned down a man cos he was my friends father. even if he wasnt, he's too pompous.

kay-shawn said...

You actually find Jay-Z attractive?!!! Okay, maybe he is.

I have made some great friends on blogville as well.

Hope you're still interested in taking part in my chat-up line competition. Thanks

sherryice said...

I had a great friend once, but I betrayed them ever since then I never regained their trust...now I know how it feels like not to have a great girlfriend....one you can love and trust...someone you count on to be there. Real gud friends are hard to find.....and if you find them...keep them!!

well as for men.....I am very tolerant but I can't stand someone who can't treat me like a woman!!!

ShonaVixen said...

@Wellsbaba - finally you find me o..lol..glad you're liking and please do come again.

@Naija Idol..thank u..lol..hmm pompous men are also a no no!!

@Chari - BO and also Halitosis..mehn...

@Kay-Shawn - yeah I find Jay-Z attractive, because wiv him i dont base it on his looks..but on his swagger, the way he does him, the way he talks etc...yup i do find Jay attractive..and the way he spits them rhymes!!!

@Sherry-Ice - yeah a man who dont treat any female like the woman she is, is a turn-off!! And yup great friends need to be kept close and dear!

Free-flowing Florida said...

my dear, e no easy 2 date an ugly man o. believe it or not, looks matter. i mean, a man who is ugly even n ur own eyes? haba na!

i admit, i also conclude dat africans with white men went 4 these men 4 dir money. i mean, wot else? i've 2 cousins dat married oyibos dem, & i know say na dem money those girls found most attractive!

ShonaVixen said...

@FFF - LMAO!!na true o, but maybe the ugliness bordering on unique..lol.. and as for those wiv oyinbo, not only be oyinbo they de marry for their kobo, even our own African men too

Emilia said...

hi girl nice with someone from Zim blogging nice work you got going on here on this blog....
well just wanted to let you know that @ Africa with style we are on a QUEST TO LOSE WEIGHT/ get fit
Join us or pop and give us some support
nice stuff once again like your blog
Emilia

mona said...

ok shona, whats with you and zimbabweans??lol!!!! apart from the 11million % inflation rate??? i actually dontknow anything about zimbabweans as a people personally.

by the way in nairobi the same thing happens whgen people see girls with older white men. they always sneer down on it. i try not to dfo that coz they my be in love, but most poeple dont seem to buy it.
i dont think looks matter, as long as you love the person
ps: im so jelous that you have such good friends. oh and i love you too. isnt blogging cool? you get to meet people you otherwise would never have met. who knew id get to meet so many lovely nigerians like you and afro and the rest. you guys rock!!!

ShonaVixen said...

Mona, Mona, Mona ...shaking my head...as much as the Naija peeps i know and love are cool, fantastic n all that plus a bag of chips, I'm in fact a Zimbabwean chicka..so not obsessed about Zimbabweans just that they are my kinsmen...and Me loves u 2 big time..xoxo

mona said...

lol! im so embarrased. i was convinced you'rw nigerian for some reason. but thats cool. atleast now i have a zimbabwean pal.lol! the first one.