Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Irreconcilable Differences

So, I took the Do Right Man Quiz on Essence.com. Boy was I thrilled when it had Lamman Rucker, as one of them!!I've liked this fine, sexy, delicious, scrumptuous hunk from when I first saw him on Half&Half, loved him more in Why Did I Get Married. !I was so mad when Jill Scott was apparently dating him, just because y'all acted as a couple dont mean you're now a couple!!LOL..The quiz got me thinking, I went back to the list and checked my answers which I'll share with you!
1. My dream man is : Adventurous - I get bored easily.*sigh*so a sense of adventure, spontaneity would really help , witty, funny wouldnt hurt if it was Chris Rock kinda funny too!!

2. My dream date would include : A candle-lit dinner - in reality i can actually count the candle-lit dinners I've been on ..hmmm maybe thats why they said 'dream date'

3. My ideal man and I would give back to the community together by mentoring/ doing arts and crafts with children after school - ShonaVixen does like giving back BUT this hassle of filling in forms, checks and all that before i can volunteer puts me off!So right now I just donate blood and am on the organ donors list.

4. If I only had 24hrs to live I'd spend it by gathering my close family and friends together for a special evening - I'd actually request for my eulogy to be read!

5. Most Sunday afternoons I am sipping on mimosas at brunch..LMAO..mimosas @ brunch...should i check into the AA?NOT!!!Nway m a 3-month hiatus...gonna be tough..lol

6. My Ideal Do Right Man is in his early 30s

Now we know that we all have our own version of the 'IBM' (Ideal Black Man) or 'IBW' (Ideal Black Woman)engraved in our minds. Have we all stuck to that list?Or have we compromised in areas that we feel the guy over-compensates in another?We already know there's no perfect person on this earth. But what are the things that you're not willing to compromise on?You know where you meet them, their exterior might get you racing, and once they start talking you think is he for real, as its getting better with each word and then you later find out some home-truths thats make you think 'yup it was too good to be true!' And once you found that out, you'd think hard of the next decision..but what if you're into deep and its too late?What on your list is non-negotiable?You can be fully flexible but not with that?With me its intelligence, the ability to hold a mind-stimulating debate with me, the ability to challenge my thinking is so sexy to me, and as some-one who does get bored easily, I need my mind constantly challenged (I dont mean start playing mind-games with me though), Funny/Silly/Great Sense of Humour is a pre-requisite if you're Mr Moody-Blues all the time then it just wont work, Being the Other Woman, (this I cant do, no matter how good-looking or great the sex is), Pathetic Liars, those not-well thought out lies, this gets to me BIG time..if you're going to lie, dont insult my intelligence especially if you're to say 'It was to protect you!', because I know we all lie, but pathetic liars no no no! Ooooh and lousy sex..that's a non-starter for Shona ne?lol..Now you tell me what you wont accept!! And as always happy sexing..xoxo

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

im first!!! lol

a sense of humour is non-negotiable, laughing is an important part of my everyday life...

Will say bye-bye very quickly to liars, cheats and men with a bold feminine streak

xoxo auds

Mz. Dee said...

i de go do dis quiz...
shona if i start my list of wat i wont accept eh... let me save blogville the truble abeg! lol

kay-shawn said...

I dont know who the anonymous who commented first is but I would say the same thing. A woman with a sense of humour is so sexy! Cant stand a moody woman for one particular reason, she might take it out on the kids. That is a No, No for me. I cant tolerate anyone who takes aggression out on children.
Alway appreciate your comments on my blog. Thanks

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

i actually think men do better wen it comes to IBP(ideal black partner). cause they go for what they want and it is easy for them because they get to go up to the lady.

meanwhile for women, we pray and wait for the ideal to come by and sway us into their arms... emmmm half the time, that never happens. hence why we end up compromising.

aghhh. i tell u this relationship thing sucks sometimes. I thank God thru it all we still get by.

and liars... that is another issue entirely.

i agree with the other chic thing too. the ish is degrading i tell u. to me it only means one thing; that i am only good enuf to fuck and nothing more. terrible i tell u.

Afrobabe said...

what I wont accept is a man with no sense of humour, a man who takes himself too seriously...a cheap skate, a self centered man...if i go on anymore there might not be any man left!!!

ShonaVixen said...

@Anon/Auds - I agree with you, a guy who can make me laugh is a definite must!And yeah i like my man masculine, some take this metro-sexual thing to another level and that's a hell-naw naw for moi!
@Mz Dee - come back and let us know who u got and heey wouldnt hurt to get a snippet of ur No=no list..lol
@Kay-Shawn - u're welcome, and so true Moody-blues is a no-no!!And transferred agression just makes it worse
@Lighty - gurl u hit the nail on the head!because it really is easier to be a man (i think), they do the picking and whilst we wait to be picked..and so true about being the other chick!Its definitely degrading and u're right..its more like i can fcuk you but thats just it, i wont elevate ur status coz there's already the other woman!My song for this is by Changing Faces 'Cant be the Other Woman'.

Miss definitely maybe said...

hmmmm I guess the rest of blogs-ville lives on a totally different planet from DM. Not that intelligence and all ain't high on my pre requisite list if you want to take a piece of my kitty kat (thatslike saying on a job advert for a company chairperson: you got to have o levels, that should be a given shouldn't it?) but to put it crudely you gots to have a job to do me. Cant stand people who cant describe their job in less than four words to me that's jus as good as being unemployed lol, call me superficial or not but it is what it is.

Miss definitely maybe said...

@ at Shona Vixen, whilst I kinda understand your feelings about being the other woman......it aint so black and white, there are soooo many shades of grey thrown in the mix. Some end up being the other woman by defualt, some are victims of circumstances, some are unaware of thier 'other woman status' for some it iant always as 'degrading' as you think, need I go on.....but thats a story for another post

ShonaVixen said...

@DM - well as u said like intelligent is a given, to me having a job is also a given..u have to work!and the Other Woman status, there are people who are happy being the other women..kudos to them but personally, i've seen crashed women go into these relationships in the disguise that it suits them better..second place never got the same prize as first!But if they're the other woman unknowingly then i do empathise with them(i was with some1 unknowingly but the moment i found out no matter how deep i felt for them, i let them go!!), but some always think they're are going to be elevated to the first position due to relegation. I act.Thanks DM coz this is going to be my next post!!LOL

Shubby Doo said...

a man with a sense of humour is a must...also agree he must be adventurous… but the latter needs to be done together as an us

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

@Shubby its a slippery slope you going down, 'adventerous' needs some serious defining (sp)!!!!!. there is a very fine line between being adventerous, being freaky and being just a plain old wierdo.

OluwaDee said...

I have compromised in areas that I feel Rabbi over-compensates in another. Theres no perfect man.

I will never in a million years tolerate or accept:

A selfish n self centered man

A man who is not intelligent; I cant be more than friends will dull guys. No offense.

An overbearing men.

NFA (No future ambition) guys.

A guy who puts his trousers below his bom, all in the name of sagging.

A man who cries over d slightest thing, mummy's boys.

A man who doesn't believe in God. chei he has to be a fool.

on these things i have not compromise, but I have compromised on;

Having a sense of humor, i just take my time to explain the joke. After all na me want intelligent man.

Being Fashionable; i am fashionable enough for both of us.

Height: as long as he is not shorter than I am.

Church: Rabbi wants a baptist church oh. this 1 was hard, but I have come to terms with it as, I get to choose the baptist church we attend.

naijalines said...

What turns me off:
(Will not compromise)
Selfishness
Stinginess
Neatfreak
Untidiness
Lying/cheating

What turns me on:

Intelligence
Confidence (not cockiness)
Sensuality
Kindness
Generosity

naijalines said...

Must have a sense of humour too, though I prefer the 'dry wit' type (a guy whose jokes make you think and laugh at the same time)

doll said...

what i cant compromise on
1. His love for me (i should have no doubts regarding this
2. His laying a finger on me in anger
3. Him being less than 6 feet (forgive me for the vanity)

ShonaVixen said...

@ Shubby..yes adventurous really is an us coz some as DM say will border on freaks or sickos!!

@Oluwadee - I so feel ya on ur list girl!!God forbid I meet some1 who says they dont believe in God!!so true @ NFAS!Selfish and just ME guys also turn me off and we wont go any further wiv some1 like that! The sagging pants should have an age limit, really!!this also borders on guys who think they're hip-hop artists!I love hip-hop too so dude dont take it too seriously if you're not Lil Wayne live with it!
Lol @ After all na me want intelligent man.


@Naijalines - ur turn ons are spot on!Confidence is so so sexy, and u right its not to be confused with cockiness!!And the dry wit, so long as i end up laughing thats cool, not where m wondering what the heck is he laughing at..lol..Mr Dry Jokes is a no-no and so is Mr Silly jokes!!



@Doll - yes o, raising your hand is a definite no-go zone, deal with your anger issues somewhere else!!@ less than 6 feet - i agree o, i love them tall, especially since i love my heels!We cant have me towering over you, no ways!!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Miss DM is super confidence personified I find something extremely sexy and electrifying in walking into a room with a 5ft tall guy......all 5.7ft of me plus kiler heels lol. Dont normally date anyone shorter than me (not because I cant wear heels...God forbid anything that will not make me wear heels)but a 5.7ft the pckings are a bit slim, besides I can make anything look good, imma hot assessory lol accessorize assessorize assesorize.

ShonaVixen said...

@DM -lol gurl...accessorize ne?lol!!you go gurl..lol..apparently short men love tall women too..lol..and i agree wiv u girl, cant do without them heels!!

badderchic said...

I ought to copy requirements form my post searching for a baby daddy, I mean its not much but...

check prt 2 out.

ShonaVixen said...

@Badder you go ahead girl..lol..and heey the twist to ur story, u getting me vexed o..lol

Nice guy said...

i wont accept a woman with a quick temper...thats a no no..i think i have a good sense of humor which may get annoying or overboard sometimes so if she vexes easily...NEXT!! also a low self esteem is something i hate

Queen of My Castle said...

I liked this.

OMG!!! I so feel you on liking a man that can challenge you mentally. Tres sexy.

Mr. Lamman is one gorgeous piece of eye candy, and I think men aren't sexy until they reach 30.

As Lauryn Hill sang...the things we accept are the things we regret.

badderchic said...

you wont believe it.

check out prt 3

Waffarian said...

Hmmmmm,...men...you must have MANNERS, ETIQUETTE...damn! I can't stand a guy that does not know how to say "please" and "thank you"...just basic manners...nothing fussy...I can't stand human beings in general that have no manners...its a big turn off.

Love a guy with humour, intelligent, oh...yeah...music is a big turn on...and he has to know how to have fun.

I have compromised on the following traits before...and it was not fun...believe me...

"Broke ass": Damn...do I have to pay for everything? It was nasty...men.

"Weak minded": So and so said this...and all of a sudden thats your opinion? give me a break!

"Mummy's boy": This was not so bad cos you just have to get on mama's good side....

"Cry cry baby": Jeezzzzzzz...buckle up muther fucker! you are a man...this was no fun at all....

Going to read the rest of your posts!

accordingtobusola said...

definitely won't compromise on spiritual beliefs. Everything else is negotiable, because me myself I am negotiable. One day I'm one way, the next day I'm another!

anonymous gal said...

yummy chris rock i like

Afrobabe said...

hey, where's my own response...*sulking away....mchewwwwwwwwww

ShonaVixen said...

@Afrobabe - which one o?there's one other one, did u post a 2nd one?i didnt see it hon and u know i wouldnt do u like that!xoxo

pamela said...

LOL!!

this post cracked me up!

May you get your ideal date..involving candle light dinners, mimosas and the rest!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Parakeet said...

Hehehe Shona, na wa o. I want the perfect man o. All those things and more. lol. I think am rather choosy but at the same time am liberal. It had to tell what I dont want, I guess I'd have to see it to know. But sex is important to me o and so is honesty.

Buttercup said...

i won't accept a guy..

*without a sense of humour
*who isnt intelligent
*who isnt God-fearin
*who isnt cute, even if its not in an in-ur-face way, i have to be happy to look at him
*who isnt good wit kids
*who doesnt relate well wit my fam
*who isnt ambitious

i cud go on n on...

but is he REALLY out there??

tuttifrutti said...

oh my darling you don't change.......

Yea liars; tantrum throwers' mummy's boys and scrubs ... NON NEGOTIABLE.
A man's gotta be a man emotionally; mentallya nd definitely a spritual man as in saved....none of these guys that wanna experiment with mediums and all that shady stuff......... Sense of humor is A important too........
In short I agree with you for once.....

ShonaVixen said...

aaah aaah aaah tutti frutti?what is this now..i no change?Whistle blowers no fit to be here!