Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Sexual Gratification - V.V.I or Not??

Unrelated to this post - today is 20.08 2008...was signing some documents when I noticed this!.. And its 4 days before my birthday!!!

Ok back to blogging, firstly I'd like to thank a friend of mine, Mr Oscar(he's an actor, and I have faith he'll get an Oscar or some award ..even a Razzie..lol..in this life-time). Anyway, I really didnt know what my next blog was going to be about, so Mr Oscar, kinda of helped to reach this subject. Initially he had told me to blog about either 'masturbation' or 'sex toys'..but when he mentioned masturbation, my mind then went into over-drive, I'd been given the push I needed!

Sexual Satisfaction Survey

a) Very Very Important
b) Moderately Important
c) Not Important
d) None of the above - Give more details

If you were to answer which one would you pick? Mr Oscar picked (a), he didnt even stop to think he just went straight for (a). Likewise its also (a) pour moi. Sexual compatability is in the same ranks as emotional fulfillment, trust, love and all the other qualities I mentioned in my previous post. Its when just the mere touch sends vibrations and tingles all over my body, the rhythmical strokes, endearing kisses, blues in my funk, rhythm in my thigh kind of sensation..earth calling Shona..earth calling..oops sorry got carried away there!. So you see when I talk of sex, its just not the mere act alone, but its the intimacy that we share, expressing physically the emotions that are felt, pleasuring each other and enjoying each other. In a relationship, I feel sex is that cherry on top, icing on the cake and the umph in the relationship. For remember I did say in a relationship, where feelings have been invested not the booty call type of thing, because with that you can bail out easily.

Kay-Shawn was right when he said one of the reasons why women should cheat more than men is because not all manhoods(lol..search me for why i chose this word..lol) are the same, but thats not the case. So that means there are women out there who are putting up with bad sex (my sincerest admiration goes out to them because I wouldnt survive), how do they cope?So what happens if the sex is just not that satisfying?The one where you're left wondering why the heck is he panting because you're not even half-way near climaxing?Tell me what would you do if there was always a part of you left wanting more?You start reminscing about the past bedroom connossieurs?Do you get urself a replacement fix? Sex is also a very delicate matter in a relationship, do you openly talk about it?Just come out and say 'Boo, you're just not rocking my boat no more?', or do you just hope it gets better with time? look for it elsewhere?break-up with them giving another reason other than that it was actually all about the sex?Does the rampant platinum rabbit (lol, reason its in red coz it put a smile on my face just thinking of rampant rabbit..lol..more info in the next post!!)become your best friend?

Mr Oscar said to me that's the reason why he tries before he buys - his words not mine. So does this mean, some people dont fully commit until they have sex and then they make their choice? Sex would be like the final stage of the interview?Hmm.. Then the question of what if in all other aspects this is the Ideal Person, they ticked all your other boxes and we all know there's no perfect person out there, what would you do? Personally, I would definitely address this issue head on, talk about it, suggest some ghetto kama sutra, get him to understand the vixen in Shona, what tickles my fancy, and more. For its when there's no communication things go wrong - sexual frustration can lead to lack of intimacy in the relationship and we all know that it would go downhill from here if not resolved.

So my dearest ones how important is sexual satisfaction to you? And then have YOU ever been in a situation where the sex wasnt all that?How did you handle it or handling it?If not, how would you handle it? Hope y'all good and as always happy sexing xoxo

47 comments:

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

First again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am on a roll people

what do they say about sex again?

once you start..............

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

no sex at all is better than half bad sex. For me sexual gratification is high up there on my list of essentials.
sex is what seperates your other half from all your other 'close' friends.
so if he aint hitting your g's and you have tried all natural and non natural means of enhancing the pleasures and it just aint working....
you probably just better off rocking your own boat arent you?

Afrobabe said...

2ndddddd...not bad, I better post quick...

Afrobabe said...

I need a man who makes me smile in an important meeting just remembering the nite before…
I need a man who is unpredictable on where when or how the next sex move will be.
I need a man who looks at me openly with lust…
I need a man who gets visibly excited just hearing that there are no panties under my suit..

Hmmmmmm

What was the question again???

Ms.O said...

I would answer A too. Just coz who wants to be stuck with bad sex all thier lives. And I am all for talking about sex head on(pun intended) with my boyfie..coz like they say communication is the key to a healthy realtionship.

badderchic said...

THIRD! I had to rush down mein.

badderchic said...

I am sooo echoing Afro here.

Anonymous said...

u really write some real stuff here. i wish i had the courage, dear. bad sex can kill, mehn! rather go without...like what u said, the type that leaves you wondering if he put anything in to begin w....LOL. don't know abt cheating though. some women are not built that way...

*Thx for stopping by...the book's gonna be awesome! ;)

ShonaVixen said...

@Miss Def - Gold Medal for ya!! Seeing from your comment you would walk away from bad sex!!Right move gurl but m sure there some who are from the school of thought that half bad sex is better than none..not me though..lol..either its great or we dont do it!!LOL

@Afro - I need, I need,..lol..so thats firing the gun too @ bad sex then..lol..

@Ms O - i totally agree with you on addressing it head on and talking about it, finding a resolution

@Badderchic- yes o

Aphrodite said...

Great sex is important in every marriage. Note i said great sex not just any kain sex.

However i think both partners cna study their bodies and improve their sex life if they are willing. No body is a total write-off.

Jinta said...

sex certainly is important, however, it takes 2 to do the proverbial

my turn on is when a woman is really turned on and you cannot achieve that with a 3 second rush. we know women take their time before they develop a full head of steam so the guy must be prepared for that.

for the woman, i think they must also read a man's body to know what works. when a man realises a woman is working with him, he develops a better sense of giving

having said that, i've heard about some irredeemable men and encountered a few placid women in my time

Mz. Dee said...

eh?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11 commentz already!!

be lyk say u don dey use juju.

Mz. Dee said...

hmm letz c.. first of i think sex is highly overrateddddddddd!! or maybe i jst hvnt had the fuck of a lifetime..lol

if he'z nt pleasin me... well.. he better be gud at givin head!!!!!!!!

Chari said...

Shooonnnnaa....u on faayaaa.....

I'd rather talk about it abeg...it better that way...there somethings even fleshlight cannot accomplish

Omosewa said...

Its definitely important and should be discussed comfortably btw partners...lol i think.

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE said...

Quite a no. of time, i av had to put up wit some shit sex moments so i learnt sth new. Try foreplay and see how HARD he grows and decide if dats wat u want to enter u, den go ahead. I had a guy i did d test on and his manhood felt more like my small pinky dan a rod. U know i bailed..lol

tuttifrutti said...

I see we have a one track mind LOL!!!
You ain't changed much....

tuttifrutti said...

Oh sorry - couldn'r help teasing.
Yea sex is important..... and enjoying it is the max.
Imaigine being stuck to a guy for 58 years and not enjoying it one single bit..... Nah God's a lot smarter than that......

tuttifrutti said...

Oh sorry - couldn'r help teasing.
Yea sex is important..... and enjoying it is the max.
Imaigine being stuck to a guy for 58 years and not enjoying it one single bit..... Nah God's a lot smarter than that......

ShonaVixen said...

@ Anonymous - u're welcome and was intentional you went anonymouse and ignored my orders!!LOL

@Aphrodite - LOL@no body is a total write-off..hmmm food for thought right there..lol

@Jinta - quite right it does take two to tango!Placid women I'm sure are around and I think could be they just dont enjoy it or dont know what to do..they should come to me for lessons..lmao

@Mz Dee - Number 11??Remember u're on probation my dear..lol..sex is overated??question posed to the floor...
Giving head - good idea as thats an option for reals!!

@Chari - yeah Shona is feeling hot, hot, hot!! and yes talking about it definitely the way to progess

@Omosewa - i agree - it is important in any relationship!!

@Someone Else's - lmao @ the small pinky..wait o its not even funny when a man is carrying such on him!!Damn...and like Mz Dee said a guy like this should @ least know how to give head!!LOL

@Tutti Frutti - HUH?One track mind?Wiv sex of course..it has to be great..no compromise..lol..58yrs of bad sex??That's a very evil spell cast on some1!!

One Man’s Opinion said...

I'm choosing "A" with Mr. Oscar, but I don't think it's the begin all and end all of a relationship.

aloted said...

In as much as great sex is very important in a marriage I believe sex has been highly overated. (na my thinking be that o)

Each husband and wife should learnt to communicate how to please each other better when making love. We are all students in this game.

Afrobabe said...

Shona darling, my list of wants actually got me excited....and hot...had to cool off first and return...

God sex for me is extremmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmllllly important cos even if we are a match in all other things, this girl needs her sex....well prepared!!!

Buttercup said...

i'd go with option a) too..

i hated the 1st few times i had sex, i guess its cos i was kinda uptight about it, but later i realized how pleasurable it really is....i've never had reason to complain to any partner..not that i've had that many..

Nice guy said...

im going to say B-moderately important because i think other things can make up for the sub-par sex. But then again, im a guy and guys usually get what they want out of sex almost everytime.

Funms said...

I chose A........ good sex brings more intimacy and love.... if the sex aint good, im not staying......

MR oooOOscar said...

Wow i like this. miss shona u owe me big time i think i actually do deserve this oscar lol. u see i was right sex is not the be all and end all but is very very very very very very very very VERY important. (did i streaa how important it is lol). lets put it in this context. its like riding a bik with no seat u can ride it but with a seat it feels a whole lot better than just a piece of metal (or for some ladies rubber lol) disturbing ur ass. if u cant please me im gonna pls myself until u can lol. take that in anyway u like lol

NikkiSab said...

Its important o!!! I recall d past and its unsatisfactory moments but den dere were some happy moments but i got to admit dere was dis guy dat I feel Missy wrote d song 1 min man for..Damn!!! he was more 3 mins but for a chic ...u got to understand, the brother never even start work and he don finish...lol

ShonaVixen said...

@One Man's i do sex is not the begin all/end all but is an important ingredient in the relationship.

@Aloted - its definitely a learning curve and communication i always think is key in any relationship.

@Afro - tell me somthing i didnt know about how sex is VVVVVV important to ya..lol..

@buttercup - yes o, sex is very pleasurable, satisfying, healthy too(the calories burnt!!)..lol
@niceguy - hmmm not fair o that men will get pleasure anyway..not fair {@ all..lol

@funms - i so share the same sentiments - sex is more than the act itself, a lot is shared there!

@Mr Oscar - your next shot of Patron is on me..lol..ooh yah please urself..that's my next post..(i took it as self-pleasuring lol)..

@NikkiSab - Missy knew what she talking about..1min or 3mins same league, and that is just unacceptable in my books!!

naijalines said...

This from me would come as no surprise to you, Shona. Yep, Sex is very important. It enhances intimacy in a relationship. Emphasis on 'enhance', cos it does not bring intimacy by itself.

It kinda cements a connection that's already there between two people. It also helps maintain some excitement in the relationship...but that bit is what people have to work at and not take for granted.

Love the post.

sherryice said...

I am 100% with Mr Oscar there.... sexual satisfaction is very very important..........

I definately consider it b4 giving the final nod..its wat makes me happy....I need to be sexual satisfied in my r/ship nothing more...nothing less...................!

And on another note........
Enjoy your birthday vixen!
Happy sexing xoxo....

ShonaVixen said...

@Naijalines yes no surprise there..lol..and i agree with you that it does cement the relationship, and yup its the working to not make sex boring and a duty but as a pleasurable experience everytime!
@sherryice - thank u hon and well happy sexing...not i is celibate!!..so will just do that in my mind..lmao

Shubby Doo said...

very but i've different types of good with different people...depending on our relationship or lack of it.

lol@platinum rampant rabbit...did know about it until 2 friends from naija showed me the result of their shopping in ann summers...one was married and the other was single...apparently me not having one meant i was missing...go figure! lol

OluwaDee said...

Sexual satisfaction is very important in marriage.

As naija lines said "It kinda cements a connection that's already there between two people. It also helps maintain some excitement in the relationship."

That said I really do not support "try before you buy".

OluwaDee said...

Happy Birthday Shona!!!!!!!!

badderchic said...

plat rampant rabbit?

I WANT FOR MY BUYDAY!

Elle Woods said...

Give me great sex or no sex at all. Honestly...there is no point being with someone with whom you have no sexual compatibility. Y'all are just going to be frustrated. And thats the thing with some naija girls.....if you gotta test drive..ain't nothing wrong with that. Its not just for men alone.

B2B said...

Cheers for passing by Shona..

and yeah, AfroBabe did murder it from a good point of view..

But, if you "feel" her, then you can make her communicate with you "sexually" too!

Mz. Dee said...

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from ur number one fan....i love hvin u on blogville!! ure one of the bloggerz dat make me smile 24-7!!
mwah!
hv a wonderful day!

Mz. Dee said...

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from ur number one fan....i love hvin u on blogville!! ure one of the bloggerz dat make me smile 24-7!!
mwah!
hv a wonderful day!

Naija Idol said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE. HAVE FUN..

Shubby Doo said...

Happy birthday!

Aphrodite said...

Did u have a brithday babes?
Okay happy belated birthday. May you live to celebrate many more.

Lady Koko said...

HAPPY BDAY BEYBEY!!!!!!!!!!!XOXOXOXO
P.S: WILL BE BACK TO READ DA POST!

mizchif said...

You know, i had a smile on my face when i saw the rampant platinum rabbit, cuz just last night i visited the ann summers online store to check them out.
My choice tho would have to be the rabbit heart throb, i saw d video & i was sold.

As for women who r in r/ships where d sex is bad, my heart goes out to them, cuz me i know i can't fit.

But it think sex is an important part of the relationship, so they shd talk abt it as a couple, and the woman shd let him know what she likes and wants, so they can both work @ it.

mr ooooscar said...

hey shona maybe the next blog will have to be on this platinum rabbit thing. lol so lets start the experiment lol

Afrobabe said...

you wont believe how many times I have refreshed this page...

I better be first oh...lol..