Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Secret places of the soul

The great Greek Philosopher Plato once said

"Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul” and the French poet/novelist Victor Hugo also said

And I wont even disagree with them both. For I think we all have those secret places of the soul where we keep stock of all hidden emotions, good or bad and sometimes a song will tap into that epicentre, and you'll have conversations with yourself, or you'll crack a little smile or shed a little tear. I LOVE MUSIC!!That's why some songs are more popular than others, they connect with each one of us in one way or the other and yesterday I made a connection with Ne-yo's Miss Independent which has officially become Vixen's song of the year!!(if i change my mind dont vex o..lol). The connection came on Sunday I was going through my usual visits on Blogville and heard this song on YBF.com and I was hooked. I downloaded it straight away, it joins 'No-one like You' by P-Square on my most played lists.

Flashback Moment: A former man-friend(JT) used to always call me 'Little Miss Independent' and I thought of him when I heard Ne-yo's hit. I smiled and wondered how he is doing, actually I start wondering like Brian Macknight if I also cross his mind ANYTIME, like he had just managed to invade mine. History to JT: when I realised that a relationship with him wouldnt work, I walked away, it was that relationship (if I can even call it that) where you don't tell each other its over but you both know something in the gravy aint right, so I stepped and kept on stepping. I'm a believer in fighting for what's yours, trying to make things work and all BUT you both have to be on the same page, so there was no point in trying to salvage anything from the drowned Titanic. Now as I look I think that maybe it would have been good to say 'goodbye and good luck' or is it that I'm just feeling nostalgic because I heard this song and i took a trail down memories boulevard? No sweat, I've moved on but does breaking up always mean we dont become friends?Just because I aint freaking you, we cant laugh over the things we used to laugh at? I guess it depends on the situation, right?

My other ex Mr Luda (I'm no been-around-the-way-girl..lol), we cool! After I broke up with him we totally agreed to be friends and friends we remain. My friends call him my Mr Big(we rode the Break-up&Make-up bus quite a few too many times), but contrary to the movie, me and this Mr Big wont be living happily ever after. As much as I found it within me to be his friend, there was a part of me that never thought I'd call him a friend BUT I do. He's my Financial Adviser (for no fee), the only person who manages to beat me at a game of Connect Four (thats on a bad day..lol). . We're grown enough to put the past behind us and move on and appreciate the past, the lessons learned and there's no awkward moments. I see him as a friend, nothing more, no 'what if moments' or 'maybes'. But thats just me and him, not every-one is all honkey-dorey with their exes, sometimes the hurt goes beyond forgiving, sometimes people just want to forget and move on BUT do we ever completely forget? Or is it that we just move on, put those people in our 'never remember' memory banks until we get such a moment where we hear a statement, or like me a song, or a mutual person?

In an ideal world, we'd all be singing 'Kombaya' and be one happy bunch of exes and all BUT its never so. They do say 'Its a thin line between love and hate', for some people end up loathing each other, some have been heard muttering 'I wish he were dead', yess some feel so betrayed, hurt and angry that they wish death upon their ex. And unless you walked a mile in their shoes, had a taste of their relationship, we cant be throwing stones from our glass houses I suppose. Some do go the whole nine yards and kill BUT the majority step, some heal those old wounds, some lug around that baggage into the next relationship, some choose to have 'amnesia' BUT we all have the memories stacked up somewhere in the secret places of our souls!

20 comments:

badderchic said...

Am I first? Im tripped! just discovered your blog, Im loving it...

like the terminator,

I be back.

naijalines said...

Memories...memories that we fight...half wanting to forget. Half choosing not to.

ShonaVixen said...

@badderchic - well done on being first, thanx 4 passing and loving it..and please come again!
@naijaline - so true, some we choose not to forget and always fighting with them memories!!

Anonymous said...

loving this entry shona! So true, we move on and may seem like we've forgot.... but like one song goes... "memories dont live like people do, they always remember you"... I've learnt to enjoy the experience and if its over, jus let it be but never loathe and regret...simply move on! xxx auds xxx

Afrobabe said...

Yeah, we never really forget, i just stays in a corner till a reminder comes along.....nice..

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

whoever came up with that "forgive and forget". I wonder what they were thinking. Its not truly possible.

Nice post.

ShonaVixen said...

@Afrobabe so true, we always tuck it away
@Solomonsydelle - I couldnt argue that one, forgive yes, forget = never!

sherryice said...

I guess memories never fade.....loved this shona.

ShonaVixen said...

@Auds & Sherryice - Thank you my lovelies!!

Don said...

A thin line between love and hate - definitely the best way to describe the bad ending of a relationship. I personally will never understand how two people who once loved each other so dearly could turn around and hate each other with a passion. But I have witnessed this, on the woman's end and mines.

NikkiSab said...

i get a tingle wen i recall some of my past ahhhaaa.... how u doin Shona!!!

ShonaVixen said...

@ Don, its so hard to understand the twist of emotions!Right now I've got RKelly's 'when a woman's fed up' playing in ma head.
@Nikki hey gurl!glad u bach..lol..m doing good!

kay-shawn said...

I really enjoyed your post. Being friends with an ex could become really complicated. I guess it could be easier if you're both single. I dont think I want my girlfriend to remains good friends with her ex. Accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents.

Mz. Dee said...

SHONA VIXEN:: i am declaring beef with u o!!

WHERE
IS
MY
COMMENT
???!!!

waitin 4 an answer! i commented ryt after badderchic!!! *tears*

ShonaVixen said...

KAY-SHAWN - yup accidents do happen for real!!

@ Mz Dee, now here i was thinking that you'd deserted me, left my blog to go and be number 1 somewhere and u tell me that i deleted your comment!Girl, i didnt even get your comment o, i have just been checking and re-checking, even to the deleted items nada, nothing from Mz Dee!Seriously hon, now you know i wouldnt delete your comments...please hon, re-post and I'll even say you was second!Dont know what happened there, maybe technology vexed me hon..so sorry!please dont declare beef or even chicken(lol) with me o...please i beg of you!repost please xxxu know Shona has loads of love for you!!

Parakeet said...

Nice blog...I feel you on the music thing and the exs? Hmm, When I think of the number of men I've let my heart love, I marvel at the fact that I still got some love left.

Thanks for stopping by mine.

ShonaVixen said...

@parakeet, thanx for returning the love!

OluwaDee said...

I love P Squares No one like you.

tuttifrutti said...

memories - LOL ...One song rather silly really but reminds me of my baby daddy..... we gone our separate ways and remarried but this song by Simon Chimbetu (LOL...LOL!!) - Magobo...... sigh.....

Queen of My Castle said...

This was a great post. I, too, am sometimes reminded of the ex-hubby whenever I hear an old song we both used to love, or see clothes that I know he would rock, or smell someone else wearing the cologne he used to wear, but once the moment has passed I remember when we are no longer married and fall in love with my new handsome Naija mister all over again, and when I smell the scent HE wears, I am smitten with smoldering love and yearn to create new memories with him.