Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Loving You Some You!!!

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". Buddah

We spend too much time working, taking care of others(children,husbands,parents etc) and the last on the list is usually ourselves. Imagine the lengths some of us go through to show those around us we love them..like picking out the perfect birthday presents, or do some silly things all in the name of love (check my gurl MDM's page), send your loved ones texts etc BUT do we go to the same lengths for ourselves?? My parents always echo the same mantra to me 'Take care of no.1..you, you and you!' Now, self-love is not to be confused with selfishness, arrogance or being conceited, where you think you're better than every-body else au contraire mes amis..its knowing that you are a worthy human being, have self-respect, and high self-esteem. It encompasses you loving yourself : mind, body and spirit!Self-love is seen when you learn to accept yourself for who you are and don't try to be someone else! Not putting your needs before that of your children/family, of course, but simply finding time for you!

'When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.' The Alchemist

I've learnt to enjoy being by myself because you will spend the rest of your life with yourself...others might stay or go but you'll always be there for you. I do enjoy intimacy so I'll run myself a candle-lit bath, playing some smoove rnb(Raheem DeVaughn is my man these days), and just relax. I do indulge in shoes(my major weakness), I read (takes me away into the world of the characters n all), day-dream and also take time out to say 'Thank You' to God in my Gratitude book every night. I allow myself to cry..(actually cried last night as I lay on my pillow..felt so much better afterwards). I also play my music loud and just dance(Beyonce's All My Single Ladies is my dance song of the moment!..lol..boy, do i bust some moves to it!!)....

I do love me some me, I understand I am not perfect, I have my hang-ups but really I do love me, flaws n all!Cue in Miss India Arie

'I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes'

I remember an episode from One on One when Dwayne and Candy decided to take time out and date themselves..was funny but I guess we all need that time to appreciate ourselves, be grateful for where we are and what we have, appreciating those in our lives and realising they are with us because of whom we are!! So how do you show yourself some love?? Ever felt so good you just wanted to kiss yourself?Do you give yourself a hug?? So go on share with ShonaV and as always happy sexing xoxo
PS: Those who havent yet read The Mrs Club by the fab Ekene Onu, grab a copy and those in the UK its now available in WHSmith...its one great book and a must-read for all!!Its my book for 2008!!

41 comments:

neema divine said...

this si some inspiring post...i've been doin that a lot for the past 4 months or so, after having some serious thoughts about my life, and now i feel so good about myself.

Laughter said...

Spot on, we need to really take good care of ourselves as in our busyness we forget to do just that. will think of moi today when i do what only i want.

naijalines said...

It's important to feel good about one's self and to love one's self cos we all travel alone though we also choose to reach out and love others.

naijalines said...

"I do love me some me, I understand I am not perfect, I have my hang-ups but really I do love me, flaws n all!...

'I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen"


Say it girl! Thanks for a very inspiring post.

And yes! I love me flaws and all!

good naija girl said...

I really needed to read these words and have them sink in. Thanks for sharing it!

Kin'shar said...

hmmm, I swear! This is the truth....me, myself and I.


I take good care of them 3.

Shubby Doo said...

i tried to explain self love to someone b4 and they didn't get it...it is so not selfish love.

nice one

Shubby Doo said...

i tried to explain self love to someone b4 and they didn't get it...it is so not selfish love.

nice one

aloted said...

"I've learnt to enjoy being by myself because you will spend the rest of your life with yourself...others might stay or go but you'll always be there for you."

soooooooooo true...i have learnt this too and it totally works for me...i need some ME time!

thanks for this

ShonaVixen said...

@neema - dont it just feel so good when you love you?!?...carry on gurl!!

@laughter - yes devote today to you and just roll with it..DO YOU!!!


@Naijalines - u're welcome hon!!glad you find the post inspirational...

@GNG - now that just made my day, how i've managed to reach out to you and let hear exactly what u needed!!

kin'shar - yes...you, you, and you!!take care of them 3, and take very good care of them!!

@shubby doo - yeah some people do confuse it wiv selfishness but its totally different!!


@aloted - u're welcome hon!!ME time is recommended for every1!!

Jaycee said...

I enjoyed the quote from the Alchemist best...maybe because I just finished reading the book, and it was excellent!!! :)

Abujamaiden said...

Yea, I let people's problems depress me sometimes but my friend says 'takecare of yourself for me' so I guess our loved ones need us to take care of ourselves rather than themselves all the time.

Rita said...

Couldn't have been said any better... Please can I borrow some of ur lines for my blog...(http://www.preparingforurking.blogspot.com/)

Will reference you : -)

Afronuts said...

Powerful and strong piece!

Most pple dont realise the importance of loving appreciating urself.
That idia arie song is a very good example to teach such a lesson.

thanks for this

ShonaVixen said...

@Jaycee - I've also just finished reading The Alchemist and loved it!!A very inspirational book

@Abujamaiden - you are right, our loved ones also want to know that we are loving ourselves to make us better!!

@Rita - of course hon, you can take whatever material you like..just glad u find it useful

@Afronuts - thanking you...and i love that India Arie song!!Its still speaks to me!!

30+ said...

Yes and how can you love another when you have not loved yourself. The scriptures puts it like this" Love your neighbour as YOURSELF".

In order words love yourself to love another.

miss jones said...

not my 1st time here, but first time commenting. i totally remember that episode of 1 on 1. funny stuff.

badderchic said...

Im so learning to do that all over again, love some of me, cuz if i dont? how the hell am I suppose to love others?

Keith said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog-
"Escapades" yesterday..Please don't
be a stranger...and if you get a
chance, visit my other blog-
"Keith's Space" (www.ariesrules.blogspot.com) too.
I'll be sure to come back here and visit you also. I loved this post and even though I'm a guy,I appreciate the sensibilities.

Rich said...

First off, thanks for coming through my spot. Second, I've had to take a more selfish point of view myself, because I got to the point that all I was doing was giving, giving, giving and one day I didn't recognize who I had become. I had lost me, because I had no interests.

Good post.

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Sistah!

I definitely need to do a better job of loving on me, myself, & I. I mean that as far as doing nice things for myself. I gotta learn to just say "no" to others sometimes so I can say "yes" to some me time!

thanks for stopping by my blog....please come back my sistah!

Pocahontaz said...

Loving is me is easy because Im beautiful and every day of my life is filled with loving me..LA LA LA LA LA..DOO DOO DOO DOO.(real loud holler) LMAO

Hey Shona Vixen, loving your blog, thanks for visiting mine...your fabulous

Ms. Behaving said...

We could ALL stand to make some improvements in this area [I think].

Gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else!

Queen of My Castle said...

This is sooooo needed. Self love is the greatest, other than God's love, that one can give and receive.

Rah DeV is most def what's up. I love his work.

Itsme! said...

Yeah, it feels good to be pretty selfish sometimes and forget about the hustle and bustle, the work that we bury ourselves in.
Thanks for showing an example!

Itsme! said...

I think we should call you Miss icture Effects.
Whaddya think?

Parakeet said...

Hey Shona, thanks for asking after me...am ok. `just off blogville for a bit. Shud be back some time...hope you're ok. Anyways I can see, very nice post...and being off blogville is part of loving myself right now.

The Invisible Man said...

@shonavixen.
Na im be that, u talk am well. Self love is very important i must say.

FFF said...

u know one thing i love d most abt my mom is dat she knows how 2 take care of herself. my mom gives us her children everything she can, but never at her own detriment. & it's amazing 2 me wen i hear others talk abt how their mom denied demselves everything 4 their sake. i just wonder, if my mom did d same won't she 1 day get resentful dat after everything she did 4 me, am not denying myself everything 4 her sake now? i don't know, but daz how i vew it


"Ruffin' It" is launched. If u haven't been there, follow my link ...

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

hey Sho, now this post was definitely for me!!!!!!! I nee to learn to love e some Miss DM. For me its the way I have been 'conditioned' I feel so guilty about buying myself something expensive or extravagant that when I do splurge out I automatically splurge out on friends or family too to mitigate some of the guilt. But im learning that its okay for me to want nice things for myself and treat myself without worrying about what people will say.......cant believe im 29th, but im offline at the moment, moved towns coz i got a new job so things are a bit hectic at the moment......but i will definitely take some time this week to 'love me some Miss DM.(will feedback on the how and where)sorry for the ong comment.

Nice guy said...

"Self-love is seen when you learn to accept yourself for who you are and don't try to be someone else!" This is exactly the massage i needed cause my self esteem has been dwindling of recent.

~Sirius~ said...

So your post is officially embedded in my brains!!! I need it to pop up at least fives times a day or else I'll keep committing my services to family and friends with nothing left for me!!!!
Thanks......and most def I'll be loving myself unconditionally flaws and all, after all nobody can do me like me, so hey......

~Sirius~ said...

So your post is officially embedded in my brains!!! I need it to pop up at least fives times a day or else I'll keep committing my services to family and friends with nothing left for me!!!!
Thanks......and most def I'll be loving myself unconditionally flaws and all, after all nobody can do me like me, so hey......

ShonaVixen said...

@30+ - Amen my sister!!

@Miss Jones - Please do keep coming hon!!

@ badderchic - keep learning gurl, you'll feel so much better when you start with YOU!!

@Keith - U're welcome and i sure wont be a stranger on your blog!!

@ Rich - thanks and we do tend to lose ourselves and have to re-evaluate and find ourselves again!!

@ Keisha - hey sistah gurl!!thanks for coming by mine too and i will be visiting you 2!!

@Pocahontaz - holler right back hon!!you're ultra fab too gurl xoxo

Audzz said...

this post made me start reading the alchemist again. So true, wen we love we strive to be better than we are and things around us becum better too hey... I enjoy some me time doing watever i like - me, myself and i have bonded big time and i agree that we should all love ourselfs.... Keep on loving you some you miss vixen!

Tigeress said...

The Mrs Club? yeh, i was following that on FB but dont know what happened.

Shona, i like what u wrote about enjoying being by yourself..... VERY true. I've come to love me- and it's great and its a good boost for my confidence.

OluwaDee said...

Self love is very important cos no1 will treat you better than you treat yourself.

I often give myself a treat.

NikkiSab said...

I used to n still have dreams of dating myself but somehow i havent done it. Its amazing how we spend time caring n catering to everyone but ourselves. I'm gonna love me more. D one ritual i av kept to myself since 2002 is to buy myself a birthday present on d day n its been fuunnnnn!!!!
Thanks for dis piece shona!

Rita said...

Thanks. I have made a reference to this post on my blog so that when I am ready to write I won't forget this page.

Thanks for this write-up and I look forward to your book.

rethots said...

The amount of love (for us) is what others shall give (back) to us. What we value not......others will definitely not value.

So, while we need love others, how can we express the love if we love not oursleves.

Interesting subject.

talesandtallies said...

I am lovin me some you[shonavixen] for this post... came at the right time 4 me mehn. tnk God it's still early and I'm free tday... i shall have a lot of me-loving.lol

xoxo