Tuesday, 6 May 2008

No Definition ...No Dating

This weekend, due to incidents that some of my girlfriends went through, it seems its now near to impossible to date in 2008! It seems there is an unwritten code of this 'No Definition' thing going on, where you are unsure of the next step, whether you are actually a couple, if you can see other people or just generally where you stand. Yes undefined status can be ok for those looking to be B.U.D.D.Ys and all but for some-one looking for a relationship it can be emotionally tiring. So should you ask that question 'what's going on'? which however is normally responded to with the answer 'lets just go with the flow'!Now what the f*ck is the darn FLOW! Getting some booty on the regular?Going on dates?Heck, this is never defined too!! And how about the ones that vibe with a sexy, suave, debonair, so-good-you-could-call him 'Chocolate' type of brotha, you all hook up on the first date, you've been called stuck up and old skool so you let your inhibitions go on that first date. There's plenty of tonsil tennis action, he moves every single nerve in you, kisses so endearing and wishing they could last, and you sense the same, this action is reciprocal or is it just in your mind?Because after that first date, nada phonecalls, text messages, emails, facebook poking i mean zilch communication is happening here! So you then have a sista wondering was she then 'too forward' or did she say something wrong during that time they spent together? I'm really starting to wonder what the hell is going on the heads of the men in London? I have run out of trying to explain their behaviour to questioning girlfriends..shuut i grew up in a household full of boys BUT this i cant decipher! But one thing i do say to my girls is, he wasnt worth shit!! It aint no male bashing but just the honest truth. Nothing seems to be what it is now. And if i ever meet a man who's going to spit that lame 'Go with the flow' line i'mma show him the darn flow..lol..But seriously i doubt if its just London males it seems its our era, any guy btwn the ages of 26 - 36yrs, and he black, professional and 'single' has some issues. Why did i say 'single' because thats actually another posting on its own! I have always said music speaks to me and i felt this song by Mario actually would go with this post! But i say, every sista out there, if you're unsure of where you stand with a guy, then you're probably not dating! New motto..No Definition = No Dating..lol..Moral of the post being? Communicate, straighten it out from the get go, thus avoiding unnecessay self-doubt and self-examinations!

11 comments:

stephaniek said...

i really thought i was the only one having problems dating in London!thank God i'm not.I've had WTF moments where i'm left wondering if the guy i'm with is my man and whether i can actually claim him to be my man. Why cant it be like the old school kind of thing going on?and its even worse if the guy is a Naija brotha

rutendo said...

LOL@no definition = no dating. i guess the simpler the better otherwise its a complicated mess

rozvi king said...

No definition = no dating = no booty is that what you trying to tell me?Women are obsessed with titles and definitions, why not just go with the flow?LOL

chido0612 said...

eeeh eeh dont start on the Naija brothas.LOL. i love me some them. LOL

blackbutterfly said...

Hey Vixen funny how you put this up because this what me and my friends were talking about this weekend. It seems everyone's scared to talk and express their true feelings for fear of losing someone or ending a relationship. I have resorted to enjoying my single life, sounds like a cliche but its true. Dating is just another headache. I do like Mario's No Definition, i didnt even know of the song. Now i can play it for some1 or try and do the female version of the song. I have to say i love your blog though. Keep blogging and repping us Zim females and our sassiness lol

kuku007 said...

dating is a complicated game from the get-go saka there's always going to be probs or issues. No dating = no problems. lol

Anonymous said...

Yes, women we be stressing for zilch man... I know... i'ma one of them who stresses, (tryna stop) need to kill that lil voice of wonder which gets us all insecure and unsure about whats what. Jus coz of no title, dont mean it aint something. I say let it be... If you need a definition, you better ask somebodyyyy!... audz

bruceurcuz said...

lol@you better ask someboddy!though so true, definitions are non-existent in 2008. You just have to be pleased with the statusquo ie if you getting some on the regular, getting respected and made to feel alive then DONT SWEAT!

when you come at the king you best not miss said...

a dude, will get away with what you let him. if you tryna be all cool bout you shit yet second guessing your status then ya only playing yourself. im a dude, and if theres somegirl out there who just wants us to 'connect' with no commitment and if im single? then yes im hopping on to that.

be upfront with your emotions and let a nigga know aint no shame in saying to a dude, dude im feeling you and lets be exclusive.

and ladies please as a word of advice (heed at the peril of your own loins) if you are unsure bout a guy dont go kissing on the first date or the second date. even if he tries to kiss you first!!! coz that shit will fuck you up and make it seem like you're good with going with the flow.. dont blurr the lines by overzealously jumping into the intimacy zone (yes even if its been years) if you think you may want more from the brother than just a booty call. men always always respect and end up with the woman who handled her business right and made him court her.

when you come at the king you best not miss said...

a dude, will get away with what you let him. if you tryna be all cool bout you shit yet second guessing your status then ya only playing yourself. im a dude, and if theres somegirl out there who just wants us to 'connect' with no commitment and if im single? then yes im hopping on to that.

be upfront with your emotions and let a nigga know aint no shame in saying to a dude, dude im feeling you and lets be exclusive.

and ladies please as a word of advice (heed at the peril of your own loins) if you are unsure bout a guy dont go kissing on the first date or the second date. even if he tries to kiss you first!!! coz that shit will fuck you up and make it seem like you're good with going with the flow.. dont blurr the lines by overzealously jumping into the intimacy zone (yes even if its been years) if you think you may want more from the brother than just a booty call. men always always respect and end up with the woman who handled her business right and made him court her.

Anonymous said...

oooh nice coming from a brothers mind... Self control + honesty then you getting somewhere. Letting yourself go and pretending you dont care is a recipe for emotional hurt... ladies, we gots to keep it real for our own sake - tell a brother straight up! No point getting lost in the game or playing da game @ all for that matter! xx audz xx