Stereo-Types...Speak On it!!

Image totally unrelated to the post!Dedication to you guys

Ndeipi Blogville!!

I watched He’s Just Not That Into You over the weekend, loved it! Now at the beginning of the movie you get women from all over the world giving excuses to why the guy didn’t call, and its only fair to have African women too…the African females are in a rural setting, doing their laundry and they start speaking…and its SHONA(by now you all know that's a Zimbabwean language right?If not...mnxiiii ie kissing my teeth Zim-style), yebo-yes, but it was badly pronounced, they said the wrong word that we guessed what they meant..my very own language was murdered in this movie!!I kissed my teeth and shouted out with my friend 'Haa Pfutsek!'1. So that’s how the world views Africa, wild animals roaming about and living in mud huts yup even in these trying and difficult times…Zimbabwe isn’t some village!! But then that’s the thing with stereo-types they aren’t always correct!

I have a few 'light-hearted' ones:

a) Big guys = big tings…(u know what I'm talking about!!)

Unfortunately for some Big guys = chipolatas!! My friend says some might have suffered ‘shrinkage’ after going to the gym and all..lol!

b) Sexy person = Sexy Voice

Gosh, have you ever seen some-one and given them an accent or a voice, deep, sensual, smooth and then from the moment they say ‘Hello’ that’s it??Its like wrong voice dude, wrong voice?

c) Sexy voice = Sexy Person

Some radio dee-jays have disappointed many a listener!!

d) Black Women = Big Booty

Not all black women have big booty...some have small ones..lol..Afro don't even think about it!!..lol..

e) Short guys = compensatory behaviour, short-man syndrome, egotistical

Honestly I’m still on the fence with this one because some short guys have the arrogance of André the Giant..lol..I've been told that 'dynamite comes in small packages' so who knows *naughty grin on my face*wink*wink*..lol..

Over to you my darlings, any you would like to share?Love to you guys and as always happy sexing xoxo

'Haa Pfutsek' - is the Southern African version of 'Voertsek' which is Afrikaans for 'F-off'

The Essence of Trust

I trust you, i love you, i want you, i need you

baby i breath you, never leave you,

life wouldn't be the same without you

I Trust you, i love you, i want you,

i need you baby, i breath you, never leave you,

life wouldn't be the same without you,

Noooooo No No No No

Trust - by Keyshia Cole (Listen to it, its on my playlist!)

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad, you hold my hand.""What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father."There's a big difference," replied the little girl, "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold us.

Does any-one see anything wrong with those lyrics from Keyshia's song?(Please do listen to all of it if you can before commenting, song number 3)When I listen to music, I go beyond the beat, the hook, the chorus - I try to get the essence of the song and the lyrics and I see so many wrong things on so many levels with that song...lol..Anyway back to 'Trust', there are some people who have a default 'trust' setting and I don't..honestly..you have to gain my trust, break that whole bond and I cut you off, don't matter whether you're male or female, friend or frenemy you'd be as good as dead to me! Please don't misconstrue this post with 'self-trust', because I do trust myself and my inner circle of familia and amigos. Now my dearies, how do you handle trust?Do you trust'blindly'. How then do you differentiate 'blind' trust and foolishness?And broken trust?

Love all, but trust a few. - William Shakespeare

PS: Please don't come here on February 14th and wish me a Happy Valentine's Day, if you've never passed through and wished me a Happy Saturday before why should you come this Saturday??Yes, I don't endorse that day...every flipping day should be special, so for those who will be carrying their flowers, big teddy-bears(btw who likes those??..sorry to those who do..lol)PDAs, acting like its the most romantic thing home-boy has done..don't look my way..I'll dash water @ you, as I'm going to be out and about!!!..LOL...as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Cupid Send Me A Love Letter..Pretty Please!!

Ndeipi Blogville!?!(That's Wassup Blogville in my language(Shona))

I really, really, want to get a love letter..yess I do! Phew feels so much better now that I've said it out, not just any love letter but the cute, funny, tear-jerking love letter. Not a post-it note but a letter... I’d love to curl up on my couch, with a cup of hot tea and read the letter. I want to read it and think now that’s way too cute, way too steamy, way too corny and way too silly! I want to play with my hair, call up my girls and read it to them, I want to smell the letter, keep reading it till I know it by heart! I want it to be hand-written, an element of it being personalised, some man having taken some time to pen such! What’s brought this on, well I’ve just finished reading Love Letters of Great Men (the person who got it for me thinks I don’t know its him, but I did my investigations and well..I haven’t thanked him for it because I’m meant not to know who sent it to me!)..I digress, after reading this book which has such intense, funny, emotional love letters from centuries gone by, I now long for one! Even if its got xoxo’s and lol’s, I just want my own love letter…Have you ever written a love letter to your one( the ones from high school don't count), whether real or imaginary? I’ll do a 'Love Letter' post in the next few days…and any-one willing to write me a letter if not a love letter?..lol..

PS: I’ve also met my twin sister..yeah we were separated @ birth, grew up in different countries and now we’ve found each other!!..and don’t nobody say ‘story, story’ coz this na true talk..LOL!!..Anyway hope you're all well and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

To His Excellency With Love 2

Mr President, I did write to you before but I’m sure it didn’t get to you so today I write another one hoping this time you’ll read it or at least feel the sentiments behind it. Firstly, I would like to thank you for fighting in the liberation struggle, for the years you spent wanting to liberate us, for when our grandparents were treated like third class citizens, you fought for all that to end and well on the 18th of April 1980, Rhodesia became Zimbabwe. A strong nation and well didn’t they all love you then? The darling of Africa they affectionately called you! The bread basket of Africa they called our country for we fed all of Africa!

You and I know you have been in power since I was a toddler, 29 years this year but then President Dos Santos has been in power for 30 years, so I wont dwell on the length of years you’ve been in power. I won’t even question why you chose to give land to those who didn’t know how to farm, nor will I question why you still claim us to be ‘your people’? No, Mr President I’m not questioning your ability to lead at your age, how dare I? And I’m not saying let Mr Tsvangirai lead, oh no, he’s been a mockery to leadership, skiving to Botswana and gallivanting to France to save his own skin whilst crying ‘my people are dying’..please Mr President whatever you do, don’t let him become the sole leader! So what am I saying? I’m saying both of you need to put the house in order.

Because of the brain-drain from our beloved nation, you have called me and all the other young Zimbabweans who left the country ‘traitors’, and Mr President today I felt like one. How can I shed tears of the picture of the old woman dying of hunger and yet I’m sitting here, sipping ‘Evian water’? How can I? My tears surely won’t resurrect the economy, but Mr President, I’m still investing in my country, I’m supporting my family and I know selfish as it is to say, once things get better I’ll come home!’However if we were to stay can you allow us to accumulate our own wealth in our own nation? Did you just snigger and say ‘You’re still a traitor?’ Please dearest sir be kind to me, for I try to school those that don’t know my motherland..that we are home to one of the 7 natural wonders Mosi-oa-Tunya (this means the smoke that thunders) or as they prefer to call it The Victoria Falls, that Zimbabwe means House of Stone, that we have all the Big 5 game (Lion, Cheetah, Buffalo, Rhino and Elephant), that we have the Shonas and the Ndebeles, and Your Excellency I can speak both languages, that we also had apartheid in Zimbabwe and one of the few African countries that got its independence late in 1980. How most Africans did send their children to schools in Zimbabwe, I still remember Adebola, Nana, Awa from junior school and the many Motswanas in high school. Your Excellency, I totally hear you when you say its because they want our country, if they didn't want anything from our Zimbabwe would they really cause such a rucus?I think not..but Mr President for the sake of future generations, lets not kill our home!!

Dearest Sir, I still yearn for good news not that cholera has claimed more lives, half the population is starving, everything is just expensive, the phones hardly work, the teachers are still on strike, lack of medicines in the hospitals and a shortage of anti-retroviral medicines to hold Aids at bay. With the wave of hope and change that President Obama brought on, I can only hope that change will come to Zimbabwe. Where no-one fears being beaten, raped, disappearing, yes..I totally understand propaganda but there’s no smoke without fire ne? I’m sorry if you heard that I wished you’d also had the shoes thrown at you like George Bush,I know I wished they were Timbalands and it was the greatest shot-putter in the world throwing them at you, it was a joke Mr President, but that’s because of the anger I feel, how can that beautiful nation die whilst the world looks on?

So for 2009 I pray that we will be talking about rebuilding the little beautiful nation, and I promise Mr President to bring all my non-Zimbabwean friends to Zimbabwe with me this December, yes, I’ll take them to see the Great Zimbabwe ruins that our fore-fathers built in the 11th century, let them overlook Mozambique from the Nyanga Mountains.

It would be rude of me to not thank you for the 29 years worth of history whether good or bad, you've sure made it into history sir!. I still smile when I hear your voice, your wit Mr President, your remarks and your jokes. I remember the man that is Robert Mugabe, the man my father calls ‘friend’, the well-educated man that you are Mr President, ensuring that Zimbabwe hailed and still hails as one of the countries with the highest adult literacy in the world of approximately 90%. Thank you sir and thank you for letting Zimbabwe rise once again in 2009! I'll always sing along to Henry Olonga's Our Zimbabwe

(video below)

And the video below is some Southern Rythm, its in both Shona and Xhosa!Basically saying home is home!!Ekhaya is ekhaya as we would say!!

Update - Morgan Tsvangirai has agreed to join the Unity Government today : 30th January 2009 - Does the sun shine on my Motherland??

Romantic Moments...Share!!

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.

William Shakespeare

Scenario: some beach in England. Kate is walking her dog and then she comes across a picnic basket, that’s washed up on shore, the beach is always isolated, so she wonders where has this come from! She inspects the basket, sees there's a bottle with a note in it and of course Kate reads it and it says

“If you’re a woman aged between 18 – 35years, are bored and lonely and fancy a shag text me (Joe) on 0777777777. PS: Enjoy the goodies in the basket they’re for you”

Kate takes the basket home, on New Year’s day she’s bored, and so texts back to that number ‘Thank you for the sweets’ The texts start going back and forth, he tells her the 'shag' bit was just a joke, she buys it, gosh he seems so great!And as is the norm in 2009, they add each other on Facebook, they both say they like what they see . Kate thinks he’s the most romantic guy, all that Message in a Bottle movie stuff, and so now they’re in a relationship and she can’t wait to find out what he has in-store for Valentine’s Day! This is not fiction!!

Now, Kate is no way like moi, because for starters, I don’t have a dog and no intention of getting one, actually unlike the animals on Animal Farm I say ‘Two legs good, four legs bad’ Apologies to animal lovers! But I just don’t do pets. I wouldn’t see a random washed up on shore picnic basket and think ‘Ooooh, let me check what’s up’…You would see me doing a Usain Bolt, that even the dog would wonder what’s going on or maybe even run away from me… for I would think ‘unattended package, goodies and a note in a bottle’..Osama has come to get me and he’s left me a suicide note…As for taking the snacks home, it would depend, if they were Belgian chocolate and I had the dog with..err before I say this I apologise to the animal lovers..but I'd let the dog eat the Belgian choc first...Oh Gosh I'm so not coming back as a dog in my next life!! If I did get the courage or rather my insane curiosity to read that note, I’d laugh, put it back in the bottle and back to the sea..I wouldn’t want to know who sent it, why are they overly confident that some-one is going to text them back?what’s with the old school moves of sending a message in a bottle?and what disease do they want to spread…That’s just me! Yes, I confess I’m a cynic…nothing’s romantic about that whole ish..more like CREEPY..Am I being unromantic by dissecting the whole situation?Is it that I've been in London so long that I don't know what romance is?Am I alone here my dearies in thinking this ish is unromantic?

What’s your definition of romantic?What’s over-rated? My definition of romantic is when a guys listens to my rambling ons about the things I like, what makes go awwww and then surprising me with it…like a hand-written letter, is one of the most romantic gift a man would give me, the blank cards where he writes the message, a night playing all my favourite games like Connect Four(even though I suck @ this game, my lil bro refuses to play Connect Four with me..yeah…lol..), Scrabble (the real game for those who remember my last post…lol),Monopoly, Sharades. A day spent at the fun-fair or go-karting, paint-balling. Romantic is Chari's emotional post to MissButttercup(<em>Miss B, I'm still waiting o..lol)I just think roses are just so blah…I don’t do roses!! Proposing on Valentine's Day doesn't have the awww-factor for me!! There are certain moments that I think money can’t buy, and I rather cling onto a pleasant memory than an expensive pair of shoes, don’t get me wrong, I’ll wear the shoes BUT will I have a smile everytime I choose to wear them??But I also work along ‘its not the thought alone that counts, but the effort that went into it!’

The only true gift is a portion of yourself. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyway, guys you tell me what you think is romantic?What’s the romantic memory that makes you smile till today? Talk to Shona and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

My dearies can we all make sure the Blog Idol that is AFROBABE doesn't quit on us...Afro I will dedicate my next post to you..I promise..and you'll get that chicken you like when you come to mine again..lol..Guys enjoy the video below!!

I Salute the Black Sista!!

Dark-skinned, mulatto, caramel

The different shades of her

Tall and slim, short and curvy

The different shapes of her

Elegant and graceful

The presence of her

Sensual and feminine

The scents of her

Nurturing, hardworking and loving

The essence of her

Family and culture the roots of her

Fearless, boldness and pride

The being of her

Sexy, intelligent and damn bootylicious

The beauty of her

Multi-tasking, multi-lingual

The versatility of her

Adaptable to new environments

Coping without family and friends

Getting an education whilst working fulltime

And supporting her immediate & extended family

Still looking flyy on a Sunday after working 6 days

Crying in private whilst being bold in public

Superwoman wishes she was her

For she is the African woman

Proud to be African for that’s the soul of her!!

My last post was a celebration of the brothas, and so I once more throw in this piece for my sistas as it wouldn't be fair for me not to give them a shout out! My girl LondonDiva also did a great tribute to the sistas!

Ooooh after being hassled..lol..by Kookie, she did an interview of getting to know me..go and read on!! And I have to say she asked if I had my own Jay-Z, and NO,I don't, y'all would know about it..trust..Tigeress gurl tell'em!!..lol..Dudes, as always happy sexing xoxo

An Ode to the Brothas

I'm not asking for the impossible

I'm not seeking the unattainable

Or is it in my mind that I think

That this is all as easy as a wink?

But then again, if it were that difficult

How come some have achieved it?

All I ask for is a good word for the brothas

When I say brothas I mean the men of colour

Sons of Mama Africa

who come in different shades and flavours

The espressos, the caramel macchiatos,

the mulattos My coffee-flavoured men,

Children of the motherland.

For they say they can’t do right by their women,

They don't stay around to raise their children

They play more games than the Premiership

They just can’t communicate with words

But I say, today my voice is the sword

That will fight for these men

The men that I know,

who stand by their teams

Who believe and work towards their dreams

The men, who toiled and still toil to bring a good name

Men whose names are held in memory halls of fame

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mohammed Ali and

Barack Obama. These are all black men

The men who are my brothers

The men I respect

The men my mother loves

And my grandmother loved

The men who all women seek and fight for

They are the great inventors of traffic lights,

They are the first heart surgeon

They are the witty and tactful from the West side

The calm ones from the East side

The descendants of the Pharaohs from the North

The cool and suave from the South

All sons of the African continent

I shall proclaim and shout in their honour

For I know they would wear that armour

With pride and defend their dignity

The only good they have ever said about them

Is that they are well hung to which I won’t disagree,

for they come in different shades And sizes

Ooh brotha ooh brotha

They are connoisseurs of the ghetto karma sutra,

Strokes so rhythmical, a touch so tender

Kisses so endearing

Only they understand the true essence of partnership

Upgrading and making each other better

So though I still seek my own

To be the blues in my funk And rhythm in my thighs

I say Viva to the brothas!

This is an old piece of mine..having read some posts et al about how slack and whack the brothas are I just thought why not bring this one out!And the pictures are for all my gurls...feast your eyes boos..London chickas hope this will make you a tad bit warmer..lol.!!Much love to all the brothas doing it right and as always happy sexing xoxo

I still can't get rid of that .gif on my header, I mean I might have had Santa's whip but I don't need it no more...sigh...what to do..SOS any1?

I Got Some....

It was perfect, more than perfect, I loved every moment of it, even though afterwards I was exhausted..the way it fit, the way it felt, or rather made me feel...wish you could see the cheshire-cat like smile on my face, I get a warm feeling every time I think about the whole experience....gosh...and it wasnt just a one-off, thank God I was on holidays, giving me time to relax after such a 'work-out'....wow, wow, wow, so worth it!!! My addiction was being fed. Yup, I got some.....*wink*... I got some killer heels, not just one pair BUT 4, thanks to the 'SALES', I even bought aubergine -coloured pumps (my very first pair of flats!!)...I will not be getting some shoes for a while, a long while...The whole shopping experience, I hit up Westfield's, Bluewater, Harrods, I shoved and pushed but am glad of my purchases and what's great is I didn't overspend on the money I'd set aside for the sales!! And who thought I meant some happy sexing??LOL

The holidays were great. I did get my medical check-up and tested for all that's under the sun, Shona's all good yo!!!I hosted one of my BFFs' birthday party, and my girls Afrobabe and Parakeet came to the party, had such a great time, almost missed my Helsinki flight the next day. Helsinki (Finland) was cold, I mean London ain't got nothing on Helsinki when it comes to freezing weather, the nephews loved their presents, the twins wanted to come back with their auntie...my brother kept questioning me why Mr Frenchie was still an ex (they'd gotten on well way too much for my liking), my sis-in-law enjoyed fussing over me, shame it was such a short stay but will be going back there soon. Xmas I once again played hostess to family and friends, and Santa was definitely ultra good to me though he didn't send me a hunk, he was still good to me..lol...NYE, I went to church of course and then went partying with my friends and lets just say I'm still recovering, gosh I did party hard, had some Disaronno, wine, champagne et more...sigh, was making up for the most part of 2008 I didnt drink..lol..

Miss Afro did complain that I wasn't talking about s.e.x that much and I did tell her it's because SHONA AINT GETTING NONE...maybe 2009 will be the year hey??...LOL...Thank you guys, you're great...

So I say Happy New Year to you all dearies, may you work towards your goals in 2009. Remember to put God first, be sure to love yourself, have self-respect, be true about all your feelings(I'm working on that), if you're wrong - do admit it,don't give up easily on your dreams because of stumbling blocks, don't say 'I love you' unless you mean it, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, be grateful for all that you have, if you feel something's not right, maybe its not, don't be in a relationship just because you're scared of lonely, don't put up with crap sex, i beg of you DON'T..lol...don't string any-one along! Have a Fab 2009 and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

PS: Does any-one else detest the random 'Happy New Year' texts especially from people you hardly spoke to through out the year and who probably won't call you during this year??Folks who probably send it out to all on their entire phone-book! I so don't appreciate them! And I just cleaned out my phone-book today...yup I deleted some numbers!!!

I can't delete that 'Vixen got's Santa's whip'....sigh...I do feel naughty..who to call and *whip*...lol...

9 Ways to Have Mind-Blowing Sex Tonight!!!

Now, now this is Zane’s work (those who’ve read her work, especially the Sex Chronicles know that she’s one lady who gets all hot on paper!! or watch Zane's Sex Chronicles on Cinemax - hot!) and not mine.Me being me, I've commented on each of these ways!! I know some ain't getting no action, but no harm in knowing the tactics right??And me thinks some have done these, a few peeps come to mind, just won't say who...lol..

1. Use your car for more than driving

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

The car, the car, the car,.. I definitely can say the car is for more than driving!!Long drives being the best!!!Gosh, memories...

2. Hook up in the hallway

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag—and any inhibitions—as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you've been waiting to feel his hands on you all day—and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

My BFFs have keys to my place*keys signify the level of trust*, and so they have a many - a-times just barged into my crib, so this hallway action could backfire when the doorknob would hit him where the Good Lord split him….unless its at his place...but then again improtu loving is always da best no?

3. Make love to his mind

Ask your man one simple question: "What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?" It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you're comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

So long as the fantasy aint about a ménage-trois’ or any other ‘somes’…(I’m selfish like that)…I’m game!!..lol...Make love to the mind people!!!

4. Get on top

Forget about the missionary position—tonight you're riding high. I know you're nervous: I'm constantly getting questions from my readers about the woman-on-top position. But you deserve to take control at times. Not only will your partner appreciate being able to lie back and enjoy himself, but you'll also feel empowered by taking the lead. And trust me, I'm sure if you need a little assistance on top, your man will help you get into the groove.

Since its been quite a while..I did laugh with my girls that I think my moves and prowess might have deteriorated…or is it like riding a bicycle??The next man just better be going to the gym!!..lol...

5. Spoil yourself

Manless at the moment? Try picking a night to tune out the rest of the world and indulge your senses at home. Turn off your phone, order in a decadent meal, and only leave your scented, candlelit bath to slip into a plush robe and head for bed. Top the night off by pleasuring yourself to sleep.

Self-pleasuring leaves me wanting more so I’ve vowed to stay away from it until I know I’m getting some

6. Get ahead of the game

Feel like you can't say even one word to your man while the Yankees are playing? Actions speak louder anyway. So long as he's not watching the World Series, be bold enough to try to tempt him away from the television with a sexy striptease. He'll remember that it's not whether his team wins or loses, but how much play he gets.

I don’t even support this one!! Chelsea and Liverpool are playing and then all of a sudden some-one is shaking their money-maker in front of the tv just as Didier is about to take the penalty….Dudes promise you’ll write to me when I’m in Holloway Prison!!

7. Disappear for seven minutes

Next time you're both at a party, sneak off—one at a time—to the bathroom, a closet or any space you can find for a quickie. The adrenaline rush of possibly getting caught will increase your excitement tenfold.

Been there, done that and I must say Oliver N’goma’s Bane has such memories…snuck out whilst this song was playing @ a party & I shan't say what happened..but I still smile whenever I hear it...

8. Use your imagination

Go alone to a coffee shop or an erotic poetry night and fantasize about sexy men you see there. Which ones look like great lovers? How would the guy in the corner handle your body? Later that night, put your mind to the ultimate challenge: See if you can reach orgasmic ecstasy by simply playing out the interlude in your mind.

Awww Hell Naw..I’d start moaning, groaning, eyes closed, lick the lips, start some rhythmical moves on the chair, So aint no way Shona going to lose her decorum at Poetry in Motion…LOL…with my girls we do use the term ‘Vulture’…when a guy looks like he could be a tiger in bed..and there's always the warning statement after they've scanned the guy 'Wait till he catches you!!'...lol...

9. Make every moment matter

Happen to find yourself in one of those awfully slow fast-food drive-throughs? When you're done shouting into the microphone, lean over to your man and, in silky-soft tones, talk dirty in his ear. Even use your fingers to explore each other's bodies in a little foreplay. But stop fooling around before you get into camera range. Don't worry, you can continue at home and really have it your way.

How hungry are we to do this??When I’ve got food on my mind, its all about the food..LOL…

PS: Thank you for loving & comforting words from my last post, I found my old spark in it all, the grieving helped! I love you guys!Shona is officially off work from Friday till 8th January 2009…I’m going to Helsinki for a couple of days, so excited!!Who knows I might go to Lapland too to check if Santa has me on the naughty or nice list…lol…I intend to rest and boy oh boy who knows what else might happen..watch this space..lol..

*side-bar* I just thought of the last episode of Desperate Housewives where Gabby n Carlos are in bed and he's telling her when he knew he was going to marry her...now that's L.O.V.E.(J-Hud style)!

Dudes, once more Shona loves ya and as always happy sexing xoxo

One More Angel in Heaven, One More Star in The Sky....

I knew it would be a matter of time, but somehow, somehow I prayed for a miracle…isn’t God, the God of miracles? Every time I thought about it, every time I looked at you, I tried to be brave, I’d smile, I’d hug you and even joke with you but my heart ached. You wrote your first poem, so sweet, few words but it meant a lot to me, you really were trying your best. You were confused, you didn’t understand, you were a child! You asked me ‘Aunty, why does it have to be me?Why cant I be running outside like other kids?Did I do something wrong?’ I had a lump in my throat, and I wasn’t able to answer your questions, instead I hugged you and cried, because I’d been asking God the same questions.

On Tuesday 11th December 2001 @ 3.31pm leukemia won the battle, my heart and my faith were broken, shattered and never was I to be the same! We knew the day would come but still... 7 years on, one would think I’d miss you any less but I don’t. Time heals all wounds? Not this wound!! Everything happens for a reason they say …7 years on I still haven’t got a clue what that reason is! Had you lived your life like Grandpa I’d understand, but you were 6, you would be a teenager by now, again I have a lump in my throat! Remember when you asked your nursery teacher if she’d smoked weed, when she tried to force you to run? That’s become the family joke…You'd say how some-one reminded you of an animal, and now I say it all the time, you won't believe how many squirrels, locusts, and cats I've spotted..LOL..!Remember our dance routine to He Wasn't Man Enough by Toni, your were poorly then but would insist we dance to it...I have a lump in my throat everytime I hear that song! Your wit, jokes, snide comments were too grown for you, but I guess you had to leave us with something to always say about you!!If only just for a minute I could hug you, see your smile, see your dimples (we called you TRIO because you had 3 dimples), but I can’t. All I can ever do is miss you, remember you and hope to see you again! I have your name tattooed on my back, a cute lil cherub too!!

Everything I succeed in is a dedication to you, for I know you’re looking over me, you were the greatest niece & god-daughter, I loved you like my own and I do take care of your daddy, for he hurts too!Lil Angel, we all still hurt! Today will be a long day for me, I will cry for you but I’ll get through it!As for Christmas, there’s always an angel we put up for you as is tradition! This is the most difficult post I have ever written, I thought of not writing it BUT you deserve more than a post! Lil Angel…I miss you like mad, always will and one day we’ll meet again!!Keep it cool and fab up there for me cherie-coco!!

To my darling Audzz, I know today isn't an easy day for you too, as we also remember Papa Audzz!I heart you for being such a great friend...To all those who've lost their loved ones, trust me when I say, I know the pain of such loss!But lets be the best we can be so as to make the angels looking over us smile!! Love always Shona and unfortunately I can't sign off as always xoxo

A Call so Sensually Seductive....

The voice, let me start with the voice. It wasn’t Barry White deep no, it wasn’t Marvin Gaye soothing, no, it didn't possess Johnny Gill’s ‘My, My,My’ pitch, it was smooth, Galaxy chocolate smooth…more like Idris Elba’s voice, when he’s being Idris Elba and not Stringer if you get my drift…the sexy Londoner voice! It was an inviting voice, I felt comfortable, I led this voice into my world, Shona’s zone. This voice wanted to understand why I seemed to like the cockiest men, Simon Cowell, Jose Mourinho, Kanye West, Diddy,Sir Alan Sugar, Gordon Ramsey et more .How I actually found cockiness attractive, but we all know, that if he can back up his talk, then every man has a right to be cocky so long as he doesn’t turn into an arrogant ass. LOL…I was so comfortable, comfortable enough to say that I love Westlife, had loads of NewKidsOnTheBlock(when they were still kids..someone say Jason!!) posters back in the day, how I’d day dream I was a member of the Beverley Hills 90210 cast (the ol’ skool one with Brenda and Brandon). The voice listened as I raved about the shirts from Duchamp London, how I would delicately take it off a man, because I understood it was a quality shirt. How I clearly love Ozwald Boateng and his designs. My love for Marmite…yikes, I could hear him cringe, and I imagined the look on his face, I smiled, he told me he felt my genuine smile.

I opened up, told this voice how I had many walls, barricades around my emotional zone because I feared being cut, I’d been cut once and after that I made sure I didn’t get to the point, once I started liking some-one, I pushed them away, there’s no room to allow it happening. Only I can guard my heart, thus the many barricades…the voice understood. Understood that after being 4years with some-one, being their friend, lover, shotgun rider, and then it ends, there’s a part that dies…The voice also understood how I'd moved on but whoever came after would have to be a notch higher for despite his flaws he'd been a man not a boy. He laughed when I told him that I'd qui-qui'd enough in the 4 years!

I shared my intimate dreams, how I wished I met one who knew the power of the forehead kiss, how it’d weaken me and how I found it the most endearing of kisses. Yes, didn’t I just say I let that voice know how I was so sensual? So are you a freak Shona? I questioned what was his definition of a freak? Was he talking about the Michael Jackson kinda freak?or the lady in the street, and a freak in the sheets kinda freak? He had this laugh, so so sexy, yes even his laugh was sexy. Gosh, then how could I not be weak and say everything?I rambled on as if I’d had a whole bottle of Amaretto Disaronno. I enjoyed how it was all non-judgemental even after I mentioned that I’d taken pole dancing lessons for fun and not so that I could get a gig at Spearmint Rhino. He laughed even more when I told him about the dinner at Spearmint Rhino with my girls and my cousin..how my cousin had all the girls boob-flashing and call him ‘Big Daddy’, they probably thought we were all his bunnies..lol…and how because he liked one of my girls my cousin didn’t even look at all those mammary glands. He shared his own experience at a strip club, he told me about his ‘friend’s’ obession, how I questioned if ‘friend’ was really him?The way he denied it, even after we were talking about something else. He that doth protest too much I remarked....lol

And then he mentioned that he would be able to croon me to sleep?Really??I asked him what song would he sing? And he just rhymed out,

‘One Love, One Love, You're lucky just to have one love, One Love, One Love,you're lucky to just have one’!

OMG, I smiled, he’d just done Whodini!!…so I asked if I didn’t fall asleep after that would he then start chanting ‘Fight the power’? He then screamed out annoyingly ‘Flavor Flav’, but I still smiled, yes he had such an effect on me!We spoke a little about our love for ol' skool hip-hop.

I wondered if he knew that I’d twirled with my hair, played with my feet, licked my lips, closed my eyes , I’d seductively strutted my stuff as if I was on a runway as I paced the room a couple of times, picked up a coin and tossed it in the air quite a few times, rolled on my bed, and more whilst talking to him? I didn’t want the call to end but I had to end it, I told him that this had been the best ‘Anonymous’ call I’d ever had. How even though I wished those I knew were more like him, I didn’t want to know him beyond that call, I wanted him to remain anonymous because though I’d loved talking to him, I’d found solace in the non-judgemental ease of our conversation, how I could totally be myself with him, without worrying about him throwing it back in my face tomorrow, I loved it all! And the best part was he wouldn’t enter into my world, he’d remain anonymous to me though he claimed I’d given him my number years ago!So, to Mr Anonymous I say ‘thank you, I found myself again in talking to you. I found my smile &sparkle!’

PS: I have been out two weeks in a row and must say I've had good fun with my peeps...went to Seductive Saturdays last week and that might have been my last visit to that place!..lol..Nway I hope you're all well, take care and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

The Voice Within Speaks!!

Shona Dearest,

Can you believe it?2008, is almost over and what a year it has been! Remember how on the 1st of January 2008 you said you’d make a resolution of not to make a resolution because by February people are back to their old habits?LOL. Well done on finishing the book ‘London Tears’, a difficult project for you, having to meet the mothers of knife-crime victims, now that was one of the darkest weeks for you in 2008, but you wanted your work to be as real as possible and that ‘artist’ who swindled you out of your money for the cover?But don’t worry as you strongly believe in karma baby..All in all you saw it through. Remember how you found it interesting to read the Zimbabwean constitution (your friends think you’re nuts by the way) and how Papa Vixen enjoyed that conversation you two had about the constitution! The credit crunch has meant 'SALE' is your bestfriend, you've made the most of Black Friday too(those getting their presents won't even know..lol), you've wondered why it seems the world is angrier, the knife/gun crime, the suicide killings, the incest of the animal that is Fritzl, poor baby P and many more.

Gosh, now lets share a few moments of 2008.

1. Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and Kirsty Coventry – wow, wow, wow!!

2. Nelson Mandela & Barack Obama – two first black presidents of their respective countries; one turned 90 and another is Mr President – Elect!!

3. Lee McQueen & Isaac Dankyi-Koranteng – the Apprentices 2008, one in UK and the other in Africa - Lee even though he’d been economical with truth on his cv he still got the job…hmmm and how daper was Raef on that programme?

4. Zimbabwe – the motherland, the birth place of all your dreams. The country that still pulls the strings of your heart, they voted or did they??And then had a re-run with one candidate, and then signed a coalition deal..or did they?I know you're fed up!! You wonder whether we will have our Obama – maybe a Ndebele guy lead this country – no I’m not trying to start a civil uprising…just speaking my mind(and I'm Shona thus the name ShonaVixen!). There’s the highest inflation in the world, food shortages, cholera outbreak, and these two men are playing field with such a gem of a country!They're fighting about the Ministry of Defence - hello..why not put under the council of ministers as your dearest brother 'Mdu' the brains behind NewZimbabwe suggested? Mugabe and Tsvangirai need to be arrested..Zimbabweans don't even defend Tsvangirai, he's behaving like he gone lost his marbles (sorry for the ebonics..lol)I pray that a solution is reached before the end of 2008…2009 we can do it!! One thing that you also pray for is that there is no war, thats the last thing Zimbabwe needs!

5. Vocoder Pandemic– as if T-Pain wasn’t painful enough…it seems everyone wants to do it..sigh..we already don’t think T-Pain has any talent (though you’ll find me snapping my fingers and doing the step EVERYTIME I hear that song), so you get mad when talented folks like Kanye or RKelly use that damn vocoder!! You've promised me that we will boycott any of our fave African artists who decide to follow suit..the Chipmunks version of Gongo Aso is about all we can take in..lol..

6. February 12 2008 – The Writer’s Guild of America strike came to end!!I celebrated..you’d had enough of re-runs! Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, DirtySexyMoney – all these are your guilty pleasures.

7. Blogville – you joined blogville not really knowing why you were adding more to your load but you’ve met great people!

8. Michelle Obama,Miriam Makeba, Lil Wayne, Tyler Perry, 9ice, Psquare, Beyonce, Kofi Anan, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Ekene Onu, Chris Rock, Isaac Hayes, Keyshia Cole - You raved either about them or their work at some point this year!

8. Handwritten Letter, Cute shoes, Chanel watch,Nintendo Wii - some of things on your Christmas Wishlist, and what you'd value most would be the letter, how I know you yearn to receive a letter not an email/text/facebook message but a letter that would make you laugh/cry, emotional words on paper!!

These moments and more happened in 2008, but you made it thus far. So as much as you might be disappointed that you didn’t achieve all the goals set, be proud of those that you achieved, still dream big, still have faith and keeping believing in yourself. Do share this advice I'm giving you with others. You didn’t listen to me sometimes, you know you’re stubborn, but I must say you didn’t disappoint me much. As the cold wind brushes your face, take it in, its your loved ones sending you a kiss. Keeping loving you Shona, and gurl do you!!!

Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.

Love,

The Voice Within

PS: The last post was actually 'fiction', didn't happen, as in I didn't get some..as to whether it ever happened in the past...I plead the fifth!!lol..to those who were envious, sorry folks maybe next time..lol..That was an edited extract from 'London Tears'..Take care guys and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Game On!!

We were both avoiding having this conversation about us. I didnt want to discuss any further how he'd been relagated to the 'Platonic' league. I'd wanted him for so long but I had gotten the message and had gotten off him. A part of me had been re-ignited by seeing him so close , smelling him, musky and dark, dancing with him, laughing and being myself around him. As much as I tried to fight it, something was happening to me. There was a throbbing were words can never be spoken and are never spoken. This throbbing got more intense the closer we got to his house. I tried to think of something that would take my mind off this but nothing seemed to help. Trying to fight hormones and intellect is a difficult battle. He gave me the forehead kiss and hugged me tight. I think we kissed, I cant remember or choose not to. What I do remember is him saying to me

“Shona , I’m sorry for being the plonker playing the game I know pride, ego and just being a brotha keeps me from keeping it real. You know I'm feeling you right?But hey, I'll take the friendship card that you're offering”

I smiled, could he be playing the game uptill now or was he just being sincere. I wasn’t falling for that. I had let my guard down, Shona, this Shona had done what she’d never done, laid it on the table for a brotha, had given him hints, hell I’d traded places and had gone all manly on him but he had been acting up, so I’d had enough of it all!

“Thank you, but I guess I’m tired of games. So I guess we can be cool friends”. With that I tried to open the car door but he stopped me. His hand on mine, we did a little thumb wrestling. He leaned closer, close enough for me to smell him, close enough for my heart to start racing, close enough for us to kiss, but we didn’t.

‘Cool, so lets get on with the game then.Scrabble that is!’ We seductively eyed each other, I looked into those ebony eyes, gosh, this man could smile with his eyes, Tyra Banks would be impressed. He definitely had kryptonite, he did the old skool LL Cool J licking of lips, those kissable lips, and he flashed his white teeth. Now, this was wrong, instead of me screaming that its not time to be playing any games even Scrabble, I lost all that logic and stunned myself by saying ‘Be prepared to lose!’ This had been our first date, I knew I had been wrong to actually expect nothing to happen and yes my girls had sung that Monica song to me ‘I wanna get down but not the first night!’, but who were they to preach?Really, I’m not that naïve to think that this ‘Scrabble’ would just be a game of words but here I was at 2.00am claiming to be here to play ‘Scrabble’…maybe that was secret code word for something else! I told myself that I had enough will-power to resist him but I was so wrong!

We got in, I scanned the environment, very tidy but what did I expect? The man already looked tidy, he looked so casually daper, a man who obviously valued his appearance, Ozwald Baoteng shirt (if only he knew that I loved Ozwald’s play with colours?I loved a man who wasn’t afraid to rock OB’s colours), jeans, and the shoes…swexy swagger! He offered me a glass of wine, I opted for tea, yes o tea, please with this weather and also I did say I wanted to be in control here!! Game on, his first word ‘SEXY’, I smiled at the coincidence, Mother Universe don’t you even start! I just did the plain ‘SWAYS’ and then his next one was ‘HORNY’..lol..Ok he was clearly cheating, how could he really be getting such letters?I wanted to play innocent Scrabble, really!!

He laughed, and suggested a break…He put some music on, hmm, why oh why was this temptation? My song of the moment, Beyonce's 'Hello' and like the song this man had me from the moment he'd said 'Hello'!Next thing I know he’d laid me down on his bed, and I felt myself sinking, movement underneath me, a waterbed. Really? Now my curiosity would be satisfied as to what waterbeds felt like. Motion, calm motion, erotic and arousing, I could feel his firmness, roundness, I licked my lips reflexively, my hands went on a discovery journey, why just feel, when I could also touch and look at it. This was it, juicy, dark, well-defined, a vision of true mastery, his maleness could have been used by Van Gogh, it was true art! In the throes of passion, my fingers dug deep into that well-toned muscular back, as he rhythmically moved closer, the bed joined in the motion. I found myself breathing heavily and moaning. Moaning.

Baby I love to see you walk into the room

By the shining lighting up the place

And when you talk everybody stop

Because they know you know just what to say and,

The way that you protect your friends Baby,

I respect you for that

And when you roll you take everyone you love along

I love that shit

Don't fly me away

Don't need to buy A diamond key To unlock my heart

You shelter my soul

You're my fire when I'm cold I want you to know... You had me at hello

Guys...I love you, really I do!and as always Happy Sexing...

Priorities, Priorities!!

The fun is when you do it first time honestly without looking at the answer.

Sigmund Freud's Priorities

Five things are happening in your house at the same time.

In which sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!

2. The baby is crying!

3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!

4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!

5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems? First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then check the first comment how your decisions were made.

My response was 2,5,3,4,1. The logic behind my answer was: I had to tend to the baby first because I really cant stand crying babies,(y'all know there are some Pavarotti-upper-register cries)so thats my main focus, then rush to the sink(have had a flooding in my kitchen twice this year, not fun at all), I'd then go to the door because for some-one to be hollering at me by my door they really know me, and since they know me, they could help me take the clothes down from the washing line. The phone, ah well, it will go to voicemail and they'll leave a message!!...Yup I thought this through..LOL...and once you find out about each task,Shona didnt need Freud to tell me that's how my priority list is, lol, its just so spot on..lol...the tap had to be in the top 2...lol...

PS: You know how I get bored easily right, I'm off Facebook, my phone's now semi-permanently on silent(I return calls should they be worthy) and now I'm contemplating going off blogville for a while..Lemme join Afro and Parakeet on that hiatus..lol..(I feel my writing's now stagnant and/or boring if I say so myself. This blog was where I could escape to whilst writing London Tears, I've finished that project, and maybe it drained my writing juices...) I'll still comment on your pages BUT I'm kinda not feeling it @ the moment...?And having taken several projects on, plus law school, my time is becoming less and less!!Who knows I just might miss you much and get back here manyana.as the key word was contemplating.lol...

True rnb folks go and get Beyonce's new album(i didnt Limewire this one, its a legit purchase..lol)....there's some great music on that album...Ave Maria, Halo, Hello, Brokenhearted Girl and hmmm Ego has a sublimnal message *its too big, too strong,wont fit,*...lmao... sounds like she be talking about Jigga's eerrr errr...lol

Dudes, Shona is saying Love you dude and as always happy sexing xoxo